Survival
by berrywarbler
Summary: Finn has decided it's time to learn how to dance with help from Kurt, Blaine, and Rachel. Cue lot's of romantic drama that no one was expecting.  Finchel, Klaine, St. Berry all mentioned and used, though it's Blainchel and Kinn focused.
1. Time To Dance

Finn was a terrible dancer. He had always been, it was nothing new to him. But after breaking Rachel's nose, he was accepting that something had to change.

This was the speech he was repeating over and over in his head as he geared himself up to knock on Kurt's door one night after dinner. He could hear Blaine and Kurt in there, whispering and laughing, and he really didn't want to bother them-Kurt was so happy with Blaine, it was hard to miss how peaceful he had become-but he did _really _need to learn to dance. And Rachel was a little wary about standing too close to him now, even if her nose had healed up perfectly fine.

Finally he just knocked, trying to ignore the high pitched "Be right there!" from Kurt's mouth, ignoring what it meant and how many times he had given it himself when he was with Rachel or Quinn. _Quinn_, he reminded. Because Quinn was his girlfriend. He should probably be more concerned about breaking her nose, but even if he did she'd probably just never speak to him again. A moment later Kurt answered his door, opening it enough for Finn to see Blaine laying on Kurt's bed, flipping through a text book. Finn smirked.

"I need a favor to ask," Finn asked. Kurt narrowed his eyes.

"It couldn't have waited?"

"Well, it's for you and Blaine," he admitted. Kurt sighed, opening the door more so Finn could enter.

"Finn has a request," Kurt announced, and Blaine looked up from his spot on the bed. Finn liked Blaine, aside from the whole making-out-with-Rachel thing, but he was with Kurt now so he had no problem with him.

"A request?" Blaine echoed, looking at Kurt. Kurt just shrugged, sitting down on the edge of his bed. Blaine sat up next to him, so that they were both staring at Finn. He shuffled around in his spot awkwardly.

"Out with it Finn," Kurt said after a moment.

"I can't dance," he spurted out. Kurt nodded and Blaine raised an eyebrow.

"That's a statement, not a request. An increasingly evident statement, after the incident with Rachel-"

"There was an incident with Rachel?" Blaine interjected.

"He broke her nose. Dancing." Blaine's eyes went wide, turning to stare at Finn once more, and now he felt even more awkward.

"I have long arms; I don't always know where they are!" He tried in a defense. It didn't seem to go over well. "Listen, I just need you guys to teach me to dance or something. So that I don't break everyone's noses."

Kurt looked like he was contemplating it. "Well, you do need to learn how to dance. But how are we going to teach you? Why not ask Mike, or Brittany?"

Finn had thought about asking them, but Brittany-as dense as she was most of the time-could be really mean when she found a weakness. And Mike was busy with Tina and honestly, Finn was embarrassed enough that he had to ask for help. "I don't trust anyone else to help me with this as well as you could," he told Kurt. He glanced at Blaine, feeling sheepish for a moment. "Both of you," he added.

"I suppose we could help," Blaine offered. "You seriously broke Rachel's nose?" Finn nodded. "We need to help him. Rachel doesn't deserve to have broken bones."

"Tomorrow. After Blaine gets out of Dalton. We will meet here and teach you to dance. Just try not to break my nose, that'd really wreak havoc on my face and I'll never speak or acknowledge your existence again."

Finn hugged Kurt before he could stop himself. "Thanks bro," he said, pulling back and walking to the door. "I'll leave you guys alone now," he added awkwardly as he left, relieved that they could hopefully at least make him, well, not lethal to others while dancing.

* * *

><p>Finn was the first one home that afternoon. Kurt had told him he'd meet him once Blaine got out, he had to talk to Rachel about something for National's. Finn didn't ask what, Quinn was on a warpath and even crazier than normal when it came to him and Rachel. He had apparently made the mistake of glancing at her during Glee earlier, since she went on an entire rant about how they were practically eye fucking during rehearsal, which Finn tried to tell her was insane. That only caused her to shriek even louder about how he wasn't allowed to even speak to her anymore, much less sing with her (which she had already outlawed in a ridiculous tirade earlier). Rachel's question of <em>Why did you get back together with her? <em>echoed through his head, but he tried not to think about it to hard. Quinn was pretty, and smarter than him, and he loved her. These days it was just harder to remember why.

He wasn't home for too long before Blaine walked through the door, calling out for Kurt. "He's not here yet," Finn called from the kitchen where he was making a sandwich. Blaine walked in, clearly he had stopped to change into normal people clothes on his way here.

"Where is he?" Blaine asked as he leaned against the door jamb, watching Finn pile about four different lunch meats on top of each other.

"Talking to Rachel apparently," Finn shrugged. "Want a sandwich?" he offered, and Blaine shook his head no as the front door opened again.

"We're here!" Kurt called out, and Finn froze when he registered the word _we're_.

"We're?" he repeated, mouth half full of his snack.

"Gross Finn, chew with your mouth closed," Kurt said, kissing Blaine's cheek as him and Rachel appeared in the kitchen. "And yes, we figured we could bring Rachel along so that maybe you can learn how to dance with a girl. Blaine's short and all, but he's not exactly the best dancer either. His version of dancing requires jumping around on furniture."

"You like my furniture climbing," Blaine retorts, and Rachel giggles from her spot. She isn't looking at Finn-she's looking at Blaine, actually, and Finn decides that he really doesn't like that.

"Let's do this," Finn declares before ingesting half of his sandwich at once. He grabs Rachel's arm, pulling her harder than he meant to in the living room. But as much as he didn't like how Rachel was looking at Blaine, he _really _hated how Blaine was looking back.

* * *

><p>"You would think after three hours he would show some improvement," Kurt told Blaine. Blaine chuckled next to him, watching as Finn tried to dance with Rachel. Rachel, for her part, was trying to be a good sport. The look of terror hadn't left her face all afternoon though. "Okay, you know what, this isn't working," Kurt finally announced, and Finn and Rachel separated. Blaine smirked at Rachel's obvious relief. "Clearly telling you isn't working-"<p>

"You think?" Finn snapped, but Kurt pressed onwards.

"We're going to have to show you. Blaine, dance with Rachel. I'll try and work with Finn." Blaine nodded, bowing slightly before Rachel. She giggled and held out a hand.

"At least I don't have to worry about you breaking anything," Rachel confided as they glided effortlessly around the living room. "You may not have my experience at professional dance lessons, but you're not too bad."

"And I don't have the added seven feet of height," he joked, eliciting another laugh out of Rachel. He loved making her laugh. He supposed it was because she didn't do it too often, so often wound up in all of the drama in her glee club, the opposite sides of jokes, that it was almost like a gift. Kurt was kind of the same, and Blaine glanced guiltily out of the side of his eye to where Kurt was placing his hand on Finn's hips. Finn looked slightly uncomfortable.

"No, Finn, like Blaine is with Rachel!" Kurt yelled, causing Rachel and Blaine to look in their direction.

"Oh, right," Finn said. He placed one hand on Kurt's lower back while Kurt placed on hand on his shoulder.

"Looks like Finn is making big improvements," Blaine commented and Rachel sighed.

"Anything is better than it is now," she replied. "And if he improves drastically enough, we have a real shot at winning National's. Although, the slow dancing isn't really going to be important for that."

"The slow dancing," Kurt replied from across the room-apparently he had been listening in to their conversation-"is so that Finn can learn some coordination, sense of time and beat. We'll get to the more contemporary dancing later, probably another day."

"Or five, this is useless," Finn groaned. "I'm horrible."

Blaine and Kurt exchanged a glance, neither wanted to lie to him but to confirm it only seemed cruel. It was finally Rachel who spoke. "You're going to get better Finn, you just need to practice. That's why we're all here. To help you get better." She moved closer to him, and Blaine watched in amazement as she comforted him. "It's not going to be easy," she continued. "But joining glee wasn't either, nor was dating me-or Quinn for that matter. It takes time. But you've managed to be a success-for the most part-at everything else. So I'm confident that as much as you believe in me, I believe that you can do this."

Finn smiled at her, and Blaine was sure he was going to vomit if they started making out right there. "So," Kurt finally interjected after a minute, clearly uncomfortable with their staring as much as Blaine was. "Why don't we call it a night for tonight? I mean, my dad and Carole are almost home anyways-we can try again tomorrow?"

"Sounds good," Finn said, though he was still staring at Rachel. "Do you want me to bring you home?" he asked her softly, and now Blaine was really sick.

"Actually, it makes more sense if I do," he found himself offering. Kurt looked at him and he shrugged. "I have a lot of homework to do-and three tests this week alone. I should get going if I want to get it all done at a reasonable hour."

"It's really no problem," Finn argued.

"It's okay, Blaine can bring me home," Rachel agreed, walking over to get her bag. Blaine kissed Kurt good bye, placing a hand on Rachel's back as they said good bye and headed to his car waiting outside. He felt a twinge of guilt as Kurt watched them go, aware of how comfortable he was with her. But he was with Kurt-and from the looks of things, it was only a matter of time before Rachel as back with Finn.

Kurt had nothing to worry about. Blaine could control himself around her.

He hoped.


	2. Don't Know Nothing

Rachel was never quiet. Whether she was singing or talking, her mouth was usually making noise. Blaine felt awkward enough on their drive to her house; her apparent silence was making it even worse. He tried turning on the radio, but it only seemed to heighten the fact that she wasn't talking so he turned it off a moment later.

"So," he tried, clearing his throat. "How're things with you and Finn?"

He noticed her glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, heard the change of her breath in the silence. "What do you mean?" she finally asked, her face turned towards the window.

Blaine chose his words carefully. He didn't want to tell her Finn was still in love with her if she didn't notice. "Well, I know he's still dating Quinn, or so I last heard from Kurt. But I noticed you two are still pretty in to each other."

"No," she answered firmly. He rolled to a stop sign at the end of her street, raising an eyebrow to her.

"That was a pretty fast answer."

"I can't afford to try again with Finn. Not right now. Neither of us are in a place where it could happen. I am on my own for now. Focusing on the future, trying to focus on success instead of trivial high school things." She replied simply.

"You do realize you're still in high school," he countered.

"Regardless. My dreams aren't in Lima and it doesn't make sense to tie myself down to anymore attachments here."

He pulled into her drive way, parking the car and turning to face her. "So you'll just be alone until you go away to college," he clarified.

She hesitated, one hand on the door handle. "Not alone," she corrected. "Just-single. There's a big difference." She gave a small wave and got out of the car. He waved back, mulling over her last statement as he drove away.

* * *

><p>The dance lessons had not progressed well. Kurt had even tried teaching Finn later at night when it was just the two of them, without Rachel and Blaine laughing in the corner of the room. He noticed that Finn did better when it was just them, but he wasn't sure if it was the basement-there was a significant lack of things to distract him rather than the living room-or the lack of other people that were helping. He had managed to teach him a simple waltz, but it had taken almost a week. Mastering anything else before National's seemed highly unrealistic.<p>

"Dude, I just can't-"

"You're getting better Finn," Kurt promised one night. They had told their parents they were watching some new show, the music playing quietly so they wouldn't intrude. Kurt didn't want his father thinking anything more was going on-his crush on Finn had certainly gone almost 100% away since they moved in together, and he was with Blaine and happy now. Of course, he spent more alone time with Finn than with Blaine these days, but he figured that was only natural since he now went to school with Finn once more and he _was _his brother-step brother-and all.

"I guess," Finn relented before flopping on the couch. Kurt sighed and went to examine the playlist he had carefully picked out for them. He was determined to teach Finn to dance, mostly for everyones safety. But also because he knew-just as much as everyone else did-that it was only a matter of time before he decided Quinn wasn't worth the hassle anymore and ventured back to Rachel. Kurt half-wished that Rachel would reject him, because she was better on her own. Or at least, without Finn. He was toxic to her, and he didn't know if he could handle another Finchel make up and break up.

"Can I ask you something?" Kurt ventured after a few minutes. Finn shook his head awake, Kurt noticed the dark circles growing larger under his eyes lately. He'd have to lend him some eye cream at a later point in time.

"What's up?"

"What's going on with you and Rachel?" Finn looked halfway surprised, but it could have been the Britney Spears song that had begun playing loudly behind Kurt. He quickly shut it off while waiting for Finn's response.

"Well, I mean, we're just friends. I'm dating Quinn." Kurt raised an eyebrow, urging him to continue. Finn didn't take the hint. "What?"

"You love Rachel though," Kurt supplied. Finn blushed red, a bumbling mess as he tried to deny it. "It's obvious, everyone can see it Finn. Except maybe Rachel."

"I love Quinn," Finn rushed out and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I didn't say you didn't. It's possible to love two people at once. But you're stringing along both of them. Don't you think maybe you should just pick one and let the other live her own life?"

"I'm not trying-I didn't know I was, I mean-am I really leading Rachel on?" Finn asked, a look of guilt shadowing his face. Kurt sighed. Sometimes Finn was the least observant person in the planet.

"Yes. And as long as you love Quinn, you should probably stop whatever it is you're doing with Rachel." Finn made a face that Kurt knew meant he was thinking deeply. "Come on, I want to get this move down so I can go to bed," he said, trying to distract him from the conversation he probably shouldn't have started. "And I still have to call Blaine, so let's do this."

* * *

><p>Blaine knew it was getting worse. Every day that he spent with her, twirling her around his boyfriends living room, laughing and joking and making snacks while Kurt tried, unbelievably patiently, to teach Finn to dance. He'd see someone with the exact shade of brown in their hair, and his thoughts would wander away from things like calculus or The Grapes of Wrath and he'd be lost in a daydream, imagining what it would be like if Rachel went to school at Dalton-which was preposterous, since she was a girl-and he actually got to see her for more than an hour or two.<p>

"I hear you found a prom date," he told her the afternoon before the big event. They were in the kitchen again, Rachel making Finn's sandwich since she knew exactly what to put on it, while Kurt roared about how Finn had to _pay attention _before he knocked over the TV or something.

"Yeah," Rachel replied, blushing. She was unusually quiet, something she hadn't been since their awkward car ride a couple weeks prior.

"That St. James guy? From Vocal Adrenaline?" Blaine prodded. He had heard some of the details from Kurt, who had seemed annoyed that Blaine wanted to spend their alone time together to talk about Rachel.

"Yes," she replied shortly. Clearly, he wasn't going to get anywhere without an open ended question.

"Why?"

"Why what?" she replied with, her voice becoming tense as she cut Finn's sandwich in half.

"Why would you go with him? After what he did to you?"

Rachel put the knife down, staring at Blaine from across the island counter. "You know, everyone is so focused on that one event. Yes, it was hurtful, and it was hateful, and it was just plain mean. And Jesse apologized for it, deeply. And I believe him. And yes, he broke up with me at a time that worked to his advantage and thought would work against us. It didn't in the long run, but I doubt anyone remembers that either. Jesse was good to me Blaine. He was capable of keeping up with my talent as very few people are. He loved me, and he made an error in judgment. He chose to give in to peer pressure, as we've all done from time to time. But he was supportive when I was trying to find my birth mother, he was caring to me, and he wanted me for me. He didn't want me to change who I was, he didn't want anyone else, he just wanted me. So yes, he hurt me. But he's also proving himself to be the guy he was before that incident. And if everyone expects me to forgive Finn for all he's done, why can't they expect me to do the same for Jesse? Because he isn't a part of New Directions? It's bullshit."

Blaine stared at her, eyes opened wide, through her rant. He didn't really know what to say to her, but fortunately Finn called them back into the living room. Rachel picked up the snacks without another word to Blaine and walked back into other room while Blaine stood there. He couldn't disagree with her points, and from a few photo's he had seen of the couple on her facebook-which he was ashamed to admit he had taken to stalking regularly- she did look genuinely happy with him. He didn't like it, didn't like that she was going to prom with anyone, but he supposed it was better than her sitting home alone.

"Blaine!" Kurt yelled, his voice starting to squeak a little. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck before heading into the other room. His feelings were getting more and more confusing by the day, and there was only so much longer that he could put off figuring out exactly what was going on inside his head.


	3. Telephone Line

Rachel had rarely been so confused in her entire life. She couldn't figure out exactly how or when she had fallen in love with three different guys, but it was becoming more and more problematic the most she lay in bed thinking about it.

There was Finn, the semi-reliable goof ball who she was constantly correcting. He was her first love. He was the first one to really notice her talent, to have faith in her that she could be more than just another small town dreamer. She knew that when she was a huge star-it was an eventuality not a 'what if' to her- she would thank him for helping push her towards her dreams. Simply by believing in her.

But then there were the drastically contradicting downsides to Finn. How much he had hurt her by sleeping with Santana, regardless of their relationship status or not, how he dumped her for an error in judgment that went no further than kissing and yet took Quinn back after she got _pregnant_ with another guy's child. There was the time he broke up with her because he wanted to date Brittany and Santana. There were all those times that he didn't stick up for her and made fun of her, which were just as often as the times he came to her rescue.

Really, Finn had a 50% rate of being amazing and being a dick.

And then, of course, there was Jesse St. James. The second boy she loved, originally used as a tool to get over the first. The one who helped her reconnect with her mother and whispered how beautiful she was late at night on the phone and switched _schools _just so they could be together. She knew, now, that some of his moves hadn't been just because of their relationship. They had been made so that she could fall for him, trust him, and he could ultimately hurt her.

And, as everyone was quick to point out, there was the egging. But she had moved on from that now. She had moved on from that a while ago, really, there was just no need to verbally go "Do you guys remember the time Jesse St. James and the entirety of Vocal Adrenaline threw eggs at me in the parking lot? I've moved on from that now," until he came back. It wasn't like she knew he was going to come back either.

But there he was. In her life once more, taking her to prom, planning on coming to help the New Directions with their National's routines. And she couldn't exactly ignore the fact that they had chemistry, both musically and romantically.

And then there was the boy no one could know she was in love with. The one she had lost all hope for in a coffee shop one winter afternoon. The one she would never have because now he was dating one of her few close friends. And she knew, no matter how deep her feelings grew, that she would never hurt Kurt like that. Not again. She had her shot with Blaine, and he rejected her.

She chuckled darkly to her ceiling. It was funny how all the boys she wanted had rejected her at some point or other. Maybe it was a sign that she just needed someone new, or maybe it was just a sign that she had to move on from all of them.

She took a deep sigh, turning over on her side. It was too much to think about. She chided herself internally, aware that there were bigger problems in the world than her love life, but she couldn't bring herself to care that much. It was big to her, it was two in the morning, and she had no one to vent about this to. She supposed she could try Mercedes, but she'd have to leave out the part about Blaine. And she could already hear Mercedes going "Girl, Finn is Quinn's man, and that St. James boy is just not worth anyone's time."

So really, Rachel had no one else to talk to. That was her excuse when she found herself dialing his number, trying to decide if she hoped he would answer more than she hoped he wouldn't.

"Hello?" answered an exhausted voice on the other end. It was a whisper, and Rachel felt a twinge of guilt.

"Hi," she whispered back. She didn't have to worry about her dad's hearing her, but it was instinctual.

"Rachel?" Blaine's voice asked, and she could hear a faint rustling of sheets on the other end. "Hold on," he told her, his voice quieter than before. It was barely above a breath, but she heard it anyways. She heard a door close quietly before he talked again, his voice still full of sleep. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I mean, I guess," she answered back. She wrapped herself tighter in her blankets. "It's stupid, I shouldn't be calling you this late, I don't want to get you in trouble with your parents or anything. It probably should have waited until morning, I'm sorry."

"No, hey, it's fine." He chuckled a little. "I'm not even home, I'm at Kurt and Finn's. It's a good thing I heard the phone go off before Kurt did, he hates having his beauty rest disturbed." Rachel felt her stomach drop.

"Oh, wow, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to wake anyone or interrupt anything or anything, I should-"

"Rachel, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she lied.

"You obviously want to talk about it," he replied. "Whatever _it _is."

"No, really-"

"Rachel, you've now woken me up and I'm risking an extremely awkward discussion as to why I'm curled up in Kurt's bathtub-which is immaculately clean by the way-with a blanket and a pillow-so you better get to talking. I don't care if it's as small as 'my hair won't curl the right way' or as big as 'I think I want to go into the Peace Corp'-which you should never do, by the way, because I don't think you'd last very long without your impromptu concerts-just talk." Rachel smiled despite herself, faking a frustrated sigh for his benefit.

"Fine," she told him. "I was just thinking about how I can't decide between boys, and I already could hear Mercedes and Kurt's reactions, so I wanted someone who isn't quite as predictable to vent to," she admitted.

She heard him chuckle on the other side of the phone. "Trying to pick between multiple boys? That's awfully promiscuous of you Ms. Berry," he joked.

She laughed as a warm feeling of content traveling through her body. "Yes, well, it's a tough decision, and even the best need help occasionally," she retorted back. Her brain reminded her of the very thought she had been trying to push back for a while now-Blaine would be perfect for her. He wouldn't hurt her, not intentionally, wouldn't leave her for someone else.

Except for Kurt.

Because he was gay.

She closed her eyes, pushing the thought away once more, before going into her rant about Jesse vs. Finn.

* * *

><p>Blaine listened patiently on the other end of the phone. He had almost ignored the phone call-he was exhausted and half asleep, the night had certainly taken a lot out of him with everything that happened-but when he saw Rachel's name he answered quickly. Between his drama with Kurt, and her drama with Jesse and Finn, they hadn't gotten a chance to talk. He hadn't gotten a chance to dance with her, in public, hold her in his arms and see what it felt like to be the boy of her affections if only for a few moments. Hadn't gotten a chance to tell her how beautiful she looked, how the song he had chosen to sing wasn't just a coincidence.<p>

Instead, he stood by his boyfriend in _his _time of need. Because Kurt needed him. And Blaine was crazy about Kurt in a way he hadn't really ever been about a guy before, and he liked where they were in their relationship.

Still, his mind couldn't stop from wandering to where he and Rachel could be too.

* * *

><p>"So, basically, you have to choose between the guy who massively humiliated you last year, but made you incredibly happy, or the one who goes back and forth between you and another member of Glee club because he can't make up his mind about who he loves more?" Blaine clarified a half hour later when Rachel finally ran out of steam from her venting.<p>

"It sounds so ridiculous when you put it like that," she argued.

He chuckled lightly. "It is kind of ridiculous," he pointed out. He hesitated a moment, but it was almost three in the morning and he figured there was no harm in throwing the question out there, pressing on with a quiet "So there's no one else that you could even think of trying for?"

He heard her sharp intake of breath, but waited patiently. The answer took a moment to come, but eventually she spoke again. "Well, you're gay, Puck is content with Lauren, and really my only other option is Jacob Ben Isreal and I'd rather die alone," she finished melodramatically. Blaine nodded, vaguely aware that she couldn't see it. He wished for the thousandth time that she hadn't attacked him when Kurt was around, waited until they were alone and they could really talk about what their kisses had left him feeling. Instead, he had to tell her he was definitely gay and run away-just like he did with most problems in his life.

"Right," he agreed quietly, holding back the words he wanted to desperately pour out.

"Oh my god," she said from the other end, and he sat up quickly. "It's almost three in the morning."

"You scared the fuck out of me," he groaned, laying back down.

"Sorry," she replied. "I should probably get to bed. You probably should too."

His back was in pain, but he didn't really want to let her go yet. The risk of being caught was greater the longer he stayed in the bathroom though, and how could he really explain this to Kurt? "Yeah, probably. Good night Rachel," he whispered.

"Night Blaine," she whispered back, hanging up a second later. He turned his phone on silent and picked the blankets and pillow up, dragging them back into the bedroom. Kurt was snoring softly as Blaine settled into the bed next to him. He turned his back on Kurt, the burning feeling of guilt rising through him as he tried to fall asleep.


	4. Sparks Fly

"So, like, what happened after I left?" Finn asked as he wolfed down his third bowl of cereal the next morning at breakfast. Blaine had wanted to leave early, but he didn't think Burt would be pleased to see Blaine slinking off after spending prom night in bed with his son, even if the door had been open the whole time, even if nothing had even come close to happening.

"You mean, _after _you punched out Rachel's new-old boyfriend?" Kurt clarified, watching Finn eat in as much amazement as Blaine was. Apparently living with him didn't get anyone used to the vast amount of food he could intake.

"He's not her boyfriend," Blaine and Finn replied at the same time. Kurt raised an eyebrow at Blaine but didn't press, for which Blaine was thankful. He ate his breakfast quietly instead while Kurt turned his attention back to Finn.

"Other than the Prom Queen debacle, and Karofsky running away, it was mostly just actual dancing. So maybe it was a good thing you left when you did," Kurt joked. Blaine smiled for Kurt's benefit, but Finn looked deep in thought.

"Maybe I should go talk to Rachel," Finn mumbled, and Kurt sighed as he took away all of their empty dishes.

"No," he said firmly. "I refuse to let you go see her today. You're only going to make things worse for everyone."

"But-"

"No 'but's'. You don't need to see her. You'll upset her and get into a fight and _you have a girlfriend_. So go hang out with her. Go see Quinn."

"Quinn's mad at me again," Finn told him.

"Then maybe you should try and fix that," Kurt offered. Finn made a face, clearly handling Quinn wasn't going to be on the agenda. "Fine," Kurt snapped, turning once more to Blaine. Blaine stared back, watching as an idea formed in Kurt's head and a smile on his face. "I have a better idea anyways."

* * *

><p>Blaine should have been more worried. Really, he should have known by now that Kurt's idea's rarely worked out for anyone more than Kurt. The moment he uttered the words "You have to spend the day with Rachel," towards him, he should have made up an excuse, ran home, hid in his room. But here he was, standing on her front stoop waiting for her to answer the door. He kicked himself internally, he wanted to <em>avoid <em>her until he sorted out his feelings-or at least pushed them away to the back of his mind, into a small little box he wouldn't ever have to open again.

"Blaine!" Rachel answered a few seconds later, opening the door to let him in. "I was surprised to get Kurt's phone call this morning."

He chuckled lightly as he followed her into the house, hesitant to follow her up the stairs that he knew led to her bedroom. "Yes, well, his goal for the day is to keep Finn far away from you. And the only way he can do that is to make sure that both you and Finn are being babysat. Apparently I'm not strong enough to restrain Finn." She glanced at him with a small smile.

"No, probably not." She pointed to her bed as she sat down at her vanity, clearly in the process of curling her hair. He sat down carefully, trying not to take up too much space. He felt oddly claustrophobic, the thought that he was in Rachel's room-on her bed nonetheless-reverberated around in his head. "So, why do Finn and I need to be kept apart?" she asked. He noted the hopefulness in her voice that she was trying to hide.

"Because Finn has a girlfriend," he pointed out, slightly annoyed.

"But you have a boyfriend," she retorted, spinning around to face him. Blaine was quiet for a moment.

"Yes," he finally said, still taken a bit off guard from her argument. He knew she didn't know how he felt-he was good about keeping it quiet. If Kurt hadn't figured it out yet, then Rachel certainly hadn't. "But I'm not one of your many suitors."

"Two is not many," she joked back.

"It's more than most people have," he shot back with a friendly smile. _See_, he told himself. Y_ou can do this. Wit, charm, being dapper. They're all apart of your genetic code_.

"Well, Blaine Warbler," she declared, standing up and grabbing a sweater from her closet. "Are you ready to go?" Blaine laughed, remembering the first time she had called him that, the weird feeling he got when Kurt had asked him to prom using that name. She held out her hand and he took it instinctively, letting her take him wherever her heart desired. He would follow.

* * *

><p>Rachel was determined to make a decision by the end of the day. And really, she knew there wasn't a decision. Finn may have feelings for her, but he had a girlfriend. Blaine was so off the table it shouldn't have ever been an option, since he was gay and Kurt's boyfriend.<p>

Which left Jesse.

"So Jesse is the one to make you break your 'no dating and being tied down to Lima' rule?" Blaine countered after she announced this. She bit her lip.

"Yes?" she asked, and he laughed. It was loud in the empty park where they were walking. If anyone walked by, they would have supposed they were dating, the way they strolled slowly hand in hand. It was almost second nature for her to take his hand, he was so _touchy_ that it was just natural. She wouldn't let him know how much more it meant in her head-that holding hands was all she could really get of him, so of course she would take every bit she could of it.

"Rachel, you're so dedicated to everything else. Why can't you be as dedicated to staying away from guys who are bad for you as you are to singing?"

"I'm not doing it on purpose!" she argued. "It's just, I don't _really _want to not have a boyfriend anymore. I don't even really have that many real friends," she admitted with an awkward shrug.

"But everyone in glee club-"

"Most of them tolerate me at best. When I was going through all that stuff with my birth mom, it wasn't like I could plop down next to Mike and tell him about it. Or go 'Santana, I really need someone to help sew this outfit together for our Gaga week.'"

"Gaga week?" Blaine asked in shock and Rachel nodded.

"They tolerate me and like me around because without my talent, they won't stand a chance at winning any competition. The others are good, when they actually try, but they're not good enough."

"What about Kurt? And Mercedes? The three of you hang out a lot." He didn't feel the need to add in Puck or Finn, who had each done their part in supporting her. But he supposed they didn't count for his argument anyways, both had dated her in the past.

"They have their own stuff going on. Kurt has you, he has his issues with Karofsky. I can't expect him to let me unload my own drama on him too. And Mercedes and I aren't that close either. Sure, we talk and we're friends. But a boyfriend-Jesse. Jesse was there for me a lot last year. And he's going to be around, at least for the summer. So why shouldn't I try again with him?" She asked, stopping them in front of a play scape. Her eyes looked up at him earnestly, waiting for his response. He didn't look at her at first, looking over her head for a moment. When he did though, when his eyes met hers, she swore she felt a spark travel between them.

"Because you deserve someone so much better," Blaine promised.

"Like who?" she asked, her voice a little quieter. There was still space between them, but she took a step forward without thinking, closing it immediately. Her eyes still locked into his, and she noticed in the back of her mind that he seemed to be moving more cautiously.

"Like anyone that isn't Finn or Jesse?" he supplied, his own voice a little quieter. She tore her gaze from his, opening her mouth to speak before he interrupted her. "Someone who's kind and smart and talented and a good listener. Someone who can and will support you while giving you room to make your own decisions. Someone who knows what it's like to be the star of a group. Someone who hasn't already hurt you."

She laughed, almost silently. "You know you just basically described yourself, right?" she ventured, looking up at him again. His gulp was more noticeable this time. She was making him nervous, though she was pretty sure it was in the way she wanted.

He ventured a smirk. "I guess I did."

"It's too bad you're gay," she told him, and this time he laughed-loudly, almost falling over as the laughter erupted through him. She watched him with wide eyes, startled at his reaction. "Blaine?" she questioned cautiously.

"It's not funny, I'm so sorry," he responded as he continued to laugh. "It's really not funny at all, except that it's just such my damn luck."

"What is?" She questioned, and he stopped laughing almost immediately. He stood still, his face serious once more as he locked his eyes to hers again.

"That after all those years of people trying to tell me how wrong it is to be gay, of trying to turn me 'straight', that I find a girl as wonderful as you-a girl that I could actually see myself with-at the same time I have to stick to what I've been all along. At the same time a boy comes into my life as wonderful as Kurt."


	5. One More Try

Rachel froze momentarily at Blaine's words. She didn't know what to say to him-her brain was fighting a war of emotions, ranging from ecstatic to depressed, and she wasn't sure what would win.

He stared at her quietly, letting her process for a minute. Eventually she must have been taking too long, and he prodded her with a small "Rachel?"

"I can't do this," she replied before she even realized the words that were falling out of her mouth. It was like she was watching the scene on a TV; she didn't really remember being a part of it, only watching from a distance. She saw his face fall, felt a slight twinge of despair somewhere inside her when she knew that it was because of her, and before she could stop herself she fled to the only constant she had really known in the past couple years.

* * *

><p>"Rachel, what are you doing here?" Finn heard Kurt say when he went to answer the door. Finn had spent the better part of the day teaching Kurt how to play Halo, if only to keep him happy until he could find a way to escape.<p>

"We may be friends Kurt, but I need to talk to Finn right now, and if you stop me I won't-"

"Rachel?" Finn called out, coming into the hallway where the two were staring each other down.

"Finn!" she cried out, and Kurt sighed in frustration, already taking out his phone-presumably to text Blaine and see where the baby sitting had gone so wrong.

"Are, are you okay?" Finn asked, noticing Rachel's nervous ticks. Her eyes were wider than normal, it was almost like she was scared. "Did something happen?"

"No, it's fine!" she laughed nervously, taking Finn's hand. "Let's go somewhere quiet and talk, please?" Finn nodded, leading her up to his bedrooom, smirking a bit at how familiar this was, thinking back to a time when their daily after school activity was making out in one of their rooms until someone's parents came home. Or Kurt walked in and interrupted with a speech about how Rachel needed to update her wardrobe or something. Finn mostly tuned out those conversations.

Rachel shut the door quietly behind her when they entered his bedroom, and he settled down on his bed, patting the spot next to him. He tried reminding himself that there was Quinn, and if anything happened Quinn would probably _permanently _break Rachel's nose, but when she sat down next to him and started crying, everything else exited his mind.

"Oh my god what happened? Did Blaine do something? Do I need to kick his ass?" he asked, his arms wrapping around her and rubbing her arm softly, rocking her into him. It was a little awkward, but it seemed to comfort her.

She let out a teary laugh, shaking her head. "No," she told him. "I'm just such a mess and I didn't really know where else to go," she admitted weakly. He nodded, ignoring that she was getting his favorite polo wet with tears-he was sure his mom was doing laundry tonight anyways.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he offered, reaching past her to grab a box of tissues on his desk and handing them to her. She wiped her face off, shaking her head.

"No, I think I just really needed to get that out. Sorry for getting your shirt all wet," she apologized with a small smile. He shrugged, un-fazed.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again, and she nodded.

"I should probably go-Quinn would be really upset if she knew I came here," she told him, biting her lip in a way she only did when she really started overthinking.

"No, hey, don't worry about Quinn. You didn't do anything wrong, I mean, we're friends. Right?" She looked at him hesitantly, but eventually nodded.

"Friends," she agreed.

"So, really, Quinn has no reason to be upset for this. I mean, it's not like we fooled around or anything," he blurted out, the idea taunting the back of his mind before he could push it away once more.

"No, we didn't." A silence fell over them, and Finn started to get a little nervous at the way Rachel was staring at him. Not because he didn't recognize the look, more because he did. It was the look she usually got right before she let him get to second base-and that thought seemed to propel him towards her, grabbing her face and lifting it to his own, kissing her harshly, not bothering to give them space to do basic things like breathe.

She let out a tiny shriek of surprise before sinking into the kiss, her arms wrapping around his neck as he pulled her over to the bed, landing backwards with her on top of him. All conscious thoughts of right and wrong disappeared, his world view seemed to narrow down to just him and Rachel, the feel of Rachel on top of him, her teeth gently nipping on his bottom lip in a comfortable familiar way, the way her hair still smelled like strawberries as he kissed his way down her neck, the little sigh's he seemed to have as an internal soundtrack that he had missed so much.

"Finn," she whispered, her tone colored with worry, but he shushed her with another kiss.

Finn was completely content to spend the rest of the afternoon like that, rediscovering Rachel and all his favorite things about her, letting her rediscover him, when they heard someone coughing at the door. "Jesus dude!" Finn yelled as Rachel toppled off the bed and onto the floor, looking even more alarmed. "Don't you knock?"

"I did," Kurt replied evenly. "Three times."

"I should probably get going," Rachel said, grabbing her bag off the floor.

"No, wait, Rachel-"

"Let her go Finn," Kurt said, letting her pass him on her way out the door. She waved to them both, throwing a quick 'bye' over her shoulder as she raced down the stairs, and Finn turned his direction to his step brother.

"What the fuck was that for?" he demanded, louder than he probably should have.

"You have a girlfriend. And it isn't Rachel. Maybe you should actually keep that in mind before sticking your tongue down her throat," Kurt retorted. Finn opened his mouth to fire back, but Kurt held up a finger. "You're doing nothing but hurting her, and you, and Quinn by doing this. So do all three of you a favor, and don't chase Rachel. Let her go."

Finn tried to argue, but Kurt walked out the door, heading towards his own bedroom. Finn slumped down on his bed, sighing in defeat. He kicked the air to see if it would make him feel any better, but instead he ended up laying flat on his back again. "Maybe I should just let her go," he muttered a moment later, groaning loudly in defeat.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked home, her arms wrapped around herself. She knew, without a doubt, that things were definitely over for her and Finn. As comforting and comfortable as making out with him had been, Kurt's appearance reminded her of Glee, of Quinn. And if he was just going to do the same thing that he broke up with her for, she deserved better. If he was going to stand there and break her heart because she made out with Puck once, and then get Quinn to cheat on Sam with him, and then cheat on Quinn with her, it was just too much. There were too many people involved, too many to get hurt.<p>

Which meant that Blaine would have to be out too. Except if she admitted it to herself-and now that she had the time to think on the way to her house, she admitted it silently-the moment Blaine had said that he wanted her, how he could see himself with her, she realized that it was him she wanted to be with. She panicked and ran because there was no way she could tell him that, she wouldn't do that to Kurt. She hadn't even meant to do that to Quinn, but somewhere in her mind she could make it better by rationalizing how Quinn had done it to so many others, had been trying to sabotage her friendship with Finn for months now. But Blaine-she smiled to herself. If things were different, Rachel would have jumped at the opportunity to date him. She already had, and maybe if Kurt hadn't been sitting in that coffee shop, it'd be Rachel dancing with Blaine at prom instead of Kurt.

She turned up her driveway, glad to see it was still deserted and she could go and relax on her own without her dad's wondering what was wrong. She had barely gotten into the house when her phone rang, and she answered it without thinking, a quick "Hello?" without checking the caller ID.

"Rachel," came Jesse's voice, as Rachel remembered her third option, the one she had landed on only a few hours ago. She didn't need Blaine or Finn or any of their relationship drama. She had Jesse.

"I'm so glad you called," she told him sincerely. She was going to fall in love with Jesse St. James once more if she had to force herself to.

It was the only safe solution for her sanity and her heart.


	6. In The Wee Small Hours

Blaine couldn't honestly say he was shocked when he got the "_what the fuck happened!_" text from Kurt on his way home. He ignored it, continuing to drive towards his own house. He debated running after Rachel, but what could he really say? It was worse than the Gap Incident. Then he had just felt embarrassed, maybe a little rejected. But he had Kurt he could talk to about it, and this wasn't something he could ever tell Kurt. _Hey, remember that time I thought maybe I was bisexual for Rachel Berry? Yeah, well that never went away. I told her today and she fled. Apparently all the way back to Finn once more. I'm not feeling all that well and I'm just going to go home and lay in bed for the rest of the day_.

He definitely couldn't tell Kurt that. Kurt would be angry, devastated, and heartbroken. And enough jhearts had been broken for the day. So he ignored his texts, deleted the "_well, mission failed. just walked in on them making out. you couldn't sit with her for one day?_" right away, climbing the stairs and ignoring his mom's questions as he crawled into bed, fully dressed, too tired to care about anything more.

* * *

><p>Jesse came over straight away. Not that Rachel had really expected any less, but she had barely made herself more presentable-crying after the Blaine incident and then making out with Finn had left her hair in disarray, her make up smudged and her eyes not nearly as bright as they normally were. She fixed what she could, running downstairs as she had only a few hours prior for Blaine only to let Jesse into her house this time.<p>

"I'm sorry about prom last night," he grimaced, looking sincerely apologetic. She blinked for a minute, prom had felt like forever ago. The details of Jesse and Finn's shoving fight that resulted in Finn attempting to punch Jesse-something he was used to enough to know when to back up and avoid a fist-and gotten them kicked out of the dance had been so far from her mind.

"Oh, it's fine," she nodded, taking his hand and leading him to her couch. "I already talked to Finn about it, everything's going to be fine now."

"You talked to Finn first?" Jesse asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, well, we just needed to hash a couple things out. But I realize now that I can never be with him, not again." She told him, her voice sure. "He's with Quinn, and I'm hopefully with you."

Jesse grinned. "Well, it does look like I'm back in town for awhile. And I did miss you," he finished, his voice lowering as his hand brushed against her cheek softly. "So, if you're ready to put the past into the past for good, and give me a second chance, I would love nothing more."

Rachel nodded, slightly distracted by his hand dancing it's way around her neck, pulling her towards him, and once again she found herself making out with an ex-_current_-boyfriend.

* * *

><p>Jesse didn't leave for several hours. They had managed to move things to her bedroom before things got too crazy in the middle of the living room, but she was still sure to make sure things didn't get too far in general. She might have decided to give him her heart once again, but that didn't mean it wasn't still partially reserved for Blaine.<p>

She tried to push Blaine out of her mind, focusing on Jesse. But every so often her mind would wander, feeling horrible for what she did to Blaine. She had to talk to him at some point, she knew that. She just didn't know when, or how, or what she could possibly say to make anything better for them. Maybe there wasn't a way for them to be better or fixed, but she knew she had to try.

Her dad's came home a few hours later, inviting Jesse to stay for dinner. He graciously accepted, chatting with her dad's like he used to when he would occasionally see them. They asked him about college and LA, laughing along while he told them a swift cover story of how 'it was just too sunny, I needed something different". He listened while they praised Rachel, glad her dreams led her to Broadway and New York instead of LA, how they couldn't wait for the day they saw their little girl on a real stage like that.

It was nearly eleven when Jesse finally left, Rachel feeling some sort of relief as he walked out the door. He promised to see her the next day after school, and she nodded as he kissed her once more, quickly since her dad's were still in the living room, watching them. She went up to her room to try and sleep, but her mind was too wound up.

_I'm with Jesse now_, she chided herself. _Stop thinking about Blaine. _

_It's only natural to worry about him_, she argued back-and now she knew she was really going crazy, having complete arguments against herself in her own head. _He is a friend. That you happen to have un-friend like feelings for. _

_You can't do anything about this Rachel. He's dating Kurt. Think of what it would do to Kurt. _

_Think of what Blaine could do for you. He could make you happy, smile, laugh. He could be uncomplicated and drama free. A fresh start. _

_He's in a relationship, that's the definition of 'complicated'. He goes to a different school, with his own busy schedule. What free time he does get, he spends with Kurt. And oh yes, he's gay. Where is uncomplicated coming from? _

She tossed and turned as the thoughts ran through her mind, trying to pick a side. She knew that hours were passing, that she was going to be exhausted the next day at school, but she also knew she couldn't go to sleep without at least attempting to make things right with Blaine. _As friends_, she told herself firmly. _Blaine Anderson and I will never be anything more than friends_.

She picked up her phone and sent a text, ignoring the time and laying back down in her bed, willing herself to sleep before he could respond.

* * *

><p>It was dark when Blaine woke up again, his phone flashing on his night table. He groaned as he saw 6 missed calls, 15 new text messages, and 2 new voice mails. Most were from Kurt, though a couple from Wes and David had managed to filter through about Warbler events for the week. There was nothing from Rachel, though he supposed he should get used to that. He glanced at the clock, the red numbers flashing <em>12:34<em> and groaned again. He sent Kurt a quick message regardless, _"sorry, think i have a 24 hr bug or something, love you"_ before shutting his phone off completely and heading downstairs to get a snack.

His mom had left him a plate from dinner, which he heated in the microwave as quietly as he could. He didn't want to wake up his parents, as thrilled as his dad would be that he was having_ girl _problems. He supposed his mom would take the same approach she took to everything-caring but slightly distant, but she would tell his dad and who knows what his dad would say if he actually brought Kurt around to meeting them.

He sat at the table, stabbing his food mercilessly. He didn't want his life to be this complicated. He didn't want to ruin his relationship with Kurt, his friendship with Rachel. He shouldn't have ever told her anything at all. He should have sucked it up, watched as she danced between Finn and Jesse, kept his mouth shut. But _damn it_, he thought, stabbing his food again, _it seemed like she likes me too_.

_There you go again, misinterpreting signs, other people's feelings. _

_You should just keep Kurt around forever, because at least he tells you how he feels. He doesn't keep it hidden, doesn't send you mixed signals. _He got up and cleared his plate, putting it in the dishwasher and headed back upstairs to his room. He turned his phone back on as he climbed back into bed, hoping emotional exhaustion was enough to lull him back to sleep for a few hours before he could reasonably get up and go to school. His phone beeped, and he grabbed it, expecting a message back from Kurt-maybe he couldn't sleep either, or he had woken up in the middle of the night to check his phone. Instead, Rachel's name showed up, 6 short words glaring at him from the bright screen.

"_I think we need to talk_."


	7. Who'd Have Known

Rachel sat waiting nervously in a quiet corner of the Lima Bean. It was nearly 8pm, enough time for Blaine to excuse himself from Kurt's house. She had spent the better part of her afternoon dealing with Finn's wounded looks and Jesse's smarmy attitude, but she needed to clear the air with Blaine before things got even weirder.

The door pushed open and he walked in, glancing around the practically empty coffee shop for her. She smiled softly and waved him over, and he returned the gentle smile as he approached her.

He sat down, not saying anything. She signaled to the coffee she had already got for him, breaking off a small piece of the cookie she had gotten to nibble on to help her feel less awkward.

"Hi," he finally said, and she felt her mouth go dry. She had a whole speech planned out, had written it when she was supposed to be studying for her chemistry final during study hall earlier that day.

"Hi," she finally replied, trying to make her voice sound even.

"So, you said we should talk?" he prodded, and she nodded, trying to ignore that even in the awkward situation she was currently in, she felt more content with Blaine than she had with both Finn and Jesse all day.

"I did. You said some words the other day-" she ignored his slight grimace, "-and I just wanted to clear the air."

"Rachel, really, I get that you don't like me like that. I knew that ship was sailed when I chose Kurt over you. You really don't have to tell me to my face that you don't have the same feelings," he interrupted. She could see the sting of rejection in his eyes, as great as his façade was. She wondered if Kurt noticed these small things about Blaine, and the reminder of Kurt's boyfriend seemed to steer her in the right direction once more.

"It's not about how I feel. Or even about how you feel," she recited, going back to her script she memorized during lunch. "It's about the fact that you have a boyfriend, who happens to be one of my closest friends. It's about the fact that you're gay. It's about how I have a boyfriend," she added, almost whispering the final part.

He was quiet, staring off towards the cashier instead of at Rachel. "Which did you end up choosing?" he finally asked, still not looking at her.

"Jesse," she answered.

"Right," he replied. "Well, this has been a great chat, but I should get back home now." He stood up, and walked out the door, ignoring her soft protests.

* * *

><p>It took Blaine approximately 3 hours to realize the full extent of what Rachel had said. Or, more specifically, what she hadn't said. He tried calling her, but she didn't answer her phone. It was almost midnight, but the thought that she didn't deny any feelings wasn't leaving his brain any time soon. He dialed her number one more time with a half hope that she wouldn't actually answer as he quickly changed into normal clothes, leaving a short "I need to speak to you right now," message for her voice mail when it picked up. He grabbed his keys, heading out the door quietly. He was glad that he usually parked in the street, hoping his parents were far enough into their sleep that they wouldn't hear his car start up and crept down his street.<p>

He drove faster than he should have, arriving at her house in record time. He knew which window was hers, and feeling incredibly cheesy, started throwing small rocks at it. He didn't want to break it, just wanted to get her attention. And she still wasn't answering her phone, so rocks would have to do. "Rachel!" he called out after a couple minutes, the stones not doing their job well enough. "Rachel!"

Finally he saw a small light flick on, heard the window open. "Blaine?" he heard, and he wanted to laugh with the joy that was pouring through him.

"Come down here!" he called, and he heard a slight hesitation in her voice but she agreed, shutting her light off a moment later.

He was practically bouncing with his revelation as he waited for her to appear on the side of the house. He knew he could have gone to the front door to wait for her, but she knew he was there and she could come to him. She _would _come to him, he was sure of it.

"It's the middle of the night," she sighed in exasperation as she appeared from around the corner, walking over to him. She hadn't changed out of her pajamas, and shivered against the cold a bit in the shorts and tank she was wearing. "What on earth couldn't wait until at least morning? And why did you call 12 times?"

He heard the twinge of sadness and accusation in her voice, his suspicions even more confirmed. "You said something earlier, and it didn't hit me until I got home," he told her, barely able to keep the edge of excitement out of his voice. She didn't say anything, just raised an eyebrow and wrapped her arms around herself. He moved closer to her, his hands settling on her arms in a small effort to be closer to her, to slightly warm her up. "You said that it didn't matter how you felt."

She didn't say anything, just continued to shiver a bit and stare up at him. He waited for her to talk, confirm his suspicions, but he didn't want to rush her into anything. That much. "And?" she finally said.

"Rachel, how _do _you feel?"

"We both have boyfriends," she replied automatically.

"Aside from Kurt, aside from Jesse. Aside from the fact that I'm supposed to be gay and you could have every other guy in the world. How do you really feel?"

"Blaine, I can't just push aside all those factors-"

"Do it anyways," he asked, his voice urgent. Because he knew that if she would just _admit _it to him, they could work it out. But she had to first tell him how she feels, and he didn't want to wait any longer for her to gather the strength to do it.

"It's complicated-"

"Everything is complicated-"

"Fine!" she almost shouted, both their eyes opening wide as the sound echoed around them. "Fine," she repeated, much quieter this time. "I'm head over heels for you. It drives me crazy that you're probably a better match for me than Finn or Jesse could ever even try to be. I'm comfortable around you, I'm content. I can be silly or serious or come to you when I need help, and you've never let me down. You've never hurt me. But if anything were to ever transpire between us, Blaine, it would be amazing-but only for a short while. Because eventually, someone would find out. And Kurt would be even more devastated than I am right now, because once again I'll have been the girl to steal away the guy he loves. Kurt has you, and I've accepted that. As long as Kurt has you, I can't. That's why I have Jesse."

"But you don't want him," Blaine tried to reason, ignoring her logic, because logic wasn't going to stand in his way. "You don't feel safe with Jesse. You can't just ignore what he did to you last year. You can't fully be with him because you don't really love him like you say you do."

"It's easier," she explained, but he shook his head.

"Easy is not the solution. When has Rachel Berry _ever _taken the easy road?"

"Since my heart has taken more hits than necessary," she retorted. "Since easy means that everyone's heart is safer."

Blaine snorted. "Everyone meaning Kurt and Jesse. We don't win either way Rachel, and you know we don't."

"Easier," she repeated again.

"I don't want to do this to Kurt," he told her earnestly. "I feel sick at the thought that I can't be 100% true to him like he is to me. That I can't be as wonderful to him as he is to me. But even if nothing happens Rachel, it won't change the fact that I _want _something to happen. And that's just as bad."

"So what are you saying?" she finally asked, looking up at him. He grinned, pushing back the guilt that lay at the back of his mind for Kurt.

"I'm saying that if we're basically already emotionally cheating, we might as well throw caution to the wind."

"Are you proposing we-" she looked around, as if to double check that no one was lurking about and listening to their conversation at one in the morning. "Are you suggesting that we cheat on them? Behind their back?"

"I'm suggesting that we give in to what we want," he corrected. He knew it was the same thing, but if he could make it sound less horrible, the better it would be for both of them.

"It's wrong," she said, but he could tell she was relenting, her arms relaxing as he moved his hands lower from them, reaching to grab her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"Are you saying we shouldn't?" he whispered, his mouth moving over to her ear, feeling her shudder against him as she rested her hands on his chest.

"We definitely shouldn't," she answered, her face now turned towards his. "But, I believe it's inevitable."

He kissed her cheek, softly, moving his lips closer to hers. "Do you want to do this Rachel?" he murmured against her skin, her hands balling into fists in his shirt.

"Yes, I do," she finally answered.

"Good," he replied, his mouth now hovering above hers. "I didn't think I could hold back anymore," were the last words he told her before his entire world shut down to just her, and him, the way he felt kissing her, the way she felt against him. His world was completely narrowed down to just him and Rachel Berry. And he couldn't think of anything else that would make him as happy.


	8. Secret

"But I broke up with Quinn for you! Isn't it time for you to tell Jesse to get lost?" Finn yelled, and Rachel looked around the living room, she knew Kurt and Blaine were in the kitchen.

"It doesn't matter what happened between the two of you," Rachel replied calmly, hoping Finn would lower his voice. "I told you that it was over between us."

"But I love you!"

"You also love Quinn."

"I loved Quinn," Finn whined. Rachel could feel herself waning, and it almost seemed like Blaine could sense it as he dragged Kurt into the living room.

"We want to watch something on the TV," he announced, his eyes on Rachel instead of the actual television. They had been sneaking around for about a month now, getting together when they could. It wasn't often, but that was probably part of the reason they hadn't gotten caught yet. Sometimes they told Kurt and Jesse they just wanted to hang out, and since Blaine was gay, no one thought anything of it.

"Well, I'm kind of talking to Rachel right now," Finn shot back, but Blaine didn't back down.

"Well, from the sound of it, Rachel's said she doesn't want to be with you about four times already," Blaine countered.

"Okay everyone!" Kurt yelled as Blaine and Finn turned towards the other, both clearly getting angrier by the second.

"I should get going anyways. I'll see you guys later," she told Kurt and Blaine, though Blaine and Finn were still glaring at each other.

"Bye," Kurt said as he tried to pull Blaine away and Rachel headed for the front door, trying not to think of all the ways the scenario she was leaving behind could possibly go wrong.

* * *

><p>"I just can't believe him," Blaine muttered, his mouth against her neck.<p>

"Let's not talk about Finn, please?" she asked, tilting her neck slightly so he had better access to it. "I have enough stress without the boy that I'm cheating with bringing up the boy that now wants me to dump my current boyfriend," she complained and almost instantly she knew she had ruined the mood completely. Blaine groaned with annoyance against her neck, tickling her softly. "Sorry," she apologized as he plopped back on her bed, pulling her close to him.

"Well I can't be surprised that everyone wants you," he joked, but she saw through his laughter. She knew that it upset him that they couldn't be together, just them. She knew because it hurt her too. But they didn't acknowledge it, they didn't acknowledge their feelings. After that first night, and Rachel's inevitable cold she had for three days afterwards, they never really talked when they were together.

Sure, sometimes she'd drive to visit him and they would do something like go to dinner or a movie, but even then it was never serious conversations. If they talked about what they were doing, their guilt would eat them alive.

So instead they had superficial conversations about everything that didn't apply to their feelings for each other and fooled around. Jesse was there for the feelings she wanted to express to Blaine but couldn't, and Kurt was there for Blaine.

"Thanks for coming over tonight," Rachel whispered as she snuggled closer to Blaine. He had parked a couple streets over, a pain that he was willing to cooperate with so that no one thought it was weird he was at Rachel's.

"Well, you seemed upset when you left the Hudmel house earlier," he responded, playing with her hair. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Plus Kurt wouldn't make out with you?" she joked, and he scoffed.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You two are usually in Kurt's room when you're there. You're never in the kitchen."

Blaine sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Well, I knew that you and Finn together screamed bad idea. So I asked Kurt if we could have a snack. Of course, he took it to mean _please cook dinner now because I'm starving_, but at least I could overhear Finn having a fit because you won't take him back."

"He does get carried away," she replied, closing her own eyes. Sometimes she liked the freedom her dads allowed her. They trusted that she would never sneak a boy into her room on a Friday night, that she would never have a boy sleep in her bed. And yet that happened increasingly often these days. They never opened her door or came into her room without asking, and therefore Blaine could get away with spending the night.

So she cuddled in, her arms wrapped around him. She felt his breathing, rhythmic and lulling her into sleep. He kissed her forehead, reaching past her to shut the light off from the nightstand. "Good night," he whispered quietly, grabbing a blanket from the edge of the bed and covering them with it. She murmured in response, something that might have sounded like a _good night _but she was almost dreaming now, dreaming of a world where Jesse hadn't come back and Blaine had admitted to being bisexual.

A world she would awake and find she didn't live in, no matter how much she wanted to.

* * *

><p>Blaine couldn't admit out loud how much he liked waking up in Rachel's house. It had only happened a few times so far, and normally she was already awake and moving around by the time he realized it was morning, but it was comforting. Kurt only let him sleep in for so long, and his parents were never home when he woke up. Rachel would let him laze while she scribbled out possible song lyrics-she was getting incredibly good at song writing-or looking up information for colleges, her new favorite hobby.<p>

But this morning she was still snuggled against him, her hair a mess and her hand resting on his stomach. He hummed quietly to himself, stroking her arm. He allowed his brain to wander, wondering what it would be like if it could just be the two of them. Imagining a future where it _was _just the two of them.

He wanted to tell her how much he loved her every time he saw her, but then Kurt would appear, or text, or call, and he'd remember-_oh wait, this isn't real_. _Rachel and I aren't real_. He'd become more aggressive, pushing her against walls or going farther than he was sure Jesse or Finn were ever allowed, but she didn't seem to mind. If anything, he was sure she was doing the same.

He knew she loved him. Even if they didn't speak about it out loud, he knew Jesse was never allowed to spend the night. He knew Jesse wasn't allowed to touch her the way she let Blaine, that Jesse wasn't looked at the way Blaine was. And it burned a fire in his stomach when the four of them went out and Blaine had to laugh along at Jesse's stupid jokes, not reach out and punch him in the face when he held Rachel's hand or kissed her quickly. Because he was doing that with Kurt, and Kurt was the one he had on his arms. Not Rachel.

The sun was bright through the window now, and Rachel stirred next to him. "Morning," he said as she opened her eyes.

"Good morning," she replied, her voice sleepy. "What time is it?"

He checked his phone, ignoring the two new text messages from Kurt. "Around 10. I was thinking, maybe we could actually do something today? I mean, besides stay in bed," he winked and she giggled.

"I would love that, I really would, but…" she trailed off, and his heart sank.

"Jesse," he finished for her. She nodded and got out of the bed, smoothing her hair down.

"He got us tickets to go see a musical in Columbus. I promised I'd go like three weeks ago, I'm sorry. Another day?" she asked, her eyes wide and earnest.

"Of course," he promised, getting off the bed himself and kissing her on the cheek quickly. "I should get going anyways. Don't want to run into Kurt wearing the same thing I did yesterday. He would notice." Rachel nodded and he left without another word, trying to ignore the jealousy burning a fire through his body.

* * *

><p>"You look beautiful," Jesse told her once again as they found their seats in the auditorium. She smiled and sat down quietly, her mind back in Lima, wondering what Blaine was doing with Kurt for the evening. "Are you okay?" Jesse asked a few minutes later as she checked her phone once again. Blaine and her had a pretty strict <em>no texting when with the boyfriends <em>rule so that they wouldn't get caught, but she had hope that Blaine would break it sooner or later anyways. He never did.

"Fine!" she replied, her voice a little more squeaky than normal. The stress of having a boyfriend and a secret boyfriend was really starting to get to her, and she wasn't 100% sure how much longer she'd be able to handle both.

It wasn't that she didn't have feelings for Jesse, because she did. Her past-self had loved him, and she owed it to the Rachel of a year ago to give it another chance. In some ways, he was perfect for her. He was smart, most of the time. And he was incredibly talented. And he was straight and he loved her and he could have gone to NYC instead of Lima after the incident with UCLA, but he wanted to come make things right with Rachel. And she appreciated that. She wasn't going to send him packing because her head was confused about a gay boy who she did very-not-gay things with.

"You've been quiet, like, all day," Jesse said as he flipped through his program. "You didn't even sing along to the soundtrack in the car!"

"I'm sorry," she shrugged. "I guess I'm just not on my game today," she offered. He seemed to take it as an excuse though, letting her check her phone once more.

"Are you expecting a hot date to text you?" he joked, and she laughed uncomfortably.

"No, just checking the time, wondering if I have enough to run to the bathroom."

"You do, go ahead," he offered, standing up to let her pass. She smiled, kissing his cheek before darting out of the auditorium and out the doors, taking a deep breath of fresh air.

_This is getting out of hand_, she texted Blaine without thinking. His reply was short but fast-_I know_. She wanted to say that that wasn't good enough, that he had to fix it somehow. But that would involve feelings, so instead she just sent a quick _I miss you :c _and smiled at his _miss you too_.

She shut her phone off, whirling around to come face to face with Jesse. "Got a secret boyfriend you had to call?" he asked, his face now only half joking. She put on her biggest smile, shaking her head no.

"Of course not. Just wanted a bit of air, come on, the show is going to start soon!" she exclaimed, pulling him back inside the theater.

She was just going to have to pretend to be the perfect girlfriend if she couldn't actually be one. _Think of it as working on your acting skills_, she decided, squeezing Jesse's hand. He looked more relaxed now that she was acting more like herself, and that was all she had to do.

Keep Jesse calm, keep Kurt calm, and figure out a way to make this not blow up in everyone's faces.


	9. All Downhill From Here

By the end of July, summer seemed never-ending. Rachel was reaching the point in both her relationship with Jesse and Blaine where it seemed like the perfect opportunity to go further, to actually have sex, but neither pressured her. It almost made it worse that way, because she couldn't cave when they asked, or shove them away and tell them to get the hell out of her room. Instead, she was stuck with two gentlemen who were willing to wait patiently.

She was sitting on her bed making a pro/con lists when Kurt burst into her room one morning, yelling "Let's go, why on earth are you not ready to go yet?"

She glanced at him blankly, shutting her notebook quickly enough so that Kurt wouldn't notice what she was writing but slowly enough so that it wouldn't seem suspicious. He didn't even seem to notice, tapping his toe against her floor. "What are you talking about?" she asked when he didn't give a further explanation.

He sighed in exasperation, going over to her closet and surfing through it. "We have to go to King's Island today," he told her, and a knot formed in her stomach. "Blaine's had to take over for the lead in their little show they have and I promised we'd go and support him. I texted you about it an hour ago, but clearly you haven't checked your messages. Now, throw this on-" he told her, handing her an outfit, "-and meet me downstairs in ten minutes. Your hair will have to do for now."

With that he turned around and stormed down the steps.

* * *

><p>A half hour later, Kurt had deemed Rachel acceptable (after sending her back upstairs twice because her hair was not acceptable and the outfit he picked out didn't work as well as he had previously thought) and they were on the road.<p>

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Rachel asked softly, chewing on her lip. She was about to step over a line she wasn't entirely positive she wanted to cross, but she couldn't figure out what to do and if she just glossed over the Blaine part of her problem and made it all about Jesse, Kurt was sure to help.

"Of course," he replied, turning down the radio to hear her better.

"How did you know when it was the right time to, well to go all the way with Blaine?" she asked, and she saw him raise an eyebrow.

"How do you know we have?" he countered, and she blushed wildly.

"I-I just figured, I mean, you've been dating for quite a while," she offered as a response, and he chuckled.

"It's fine Rachel, calm down, I'm only giving you a hard time."

"I just figured you seem so much more confident and happy and I thought it was just a given," she finished quietly. He laughed again, though he didn't seem to be laughing at her.

"Well, being in a loving relationship with a wonderful guy can do that-with or without sex," he told her, glancing at her as they passed by another exit. The road was pretty deserted considering that it was a Thursday morning, but that seemed to suit Kurt better.

"So you guys aren't having sex?" she asked, her voice squeaking at how uncomfortable she felt. She hadn't ever asked Blaine this, though she was regretting that decision now. She didn't want to make their moments covered with guilt and confusion, and bringing up Jesse or Kurt tended to do that.

"We are," Kurt finally answered, "but I didn't think it was obvious."

"Oh," Rachel replied quietly, surprised at the punch she felt to her gut. Kurt was, after all, Blaine's boyfriend. They were allowed to have sex. "Well," she finally spoke up, remembering her original intentions, "When did you know that it was the right time _to _have sex?"

Kurt shrugged, turning his blinker on as they approached the exit they needed. "It just kind of happened. It was romantic and sweet and Blaine was patient and I realized that I was ready. You'll get there, just don't rush yourself." Rachel frowned and looked out the window. She _was _there. She just wasn't sure if she was there with Blaine or Jesse.

* * *

><p>Kurt knew there was something Rachel wasn't telling him. She was a good actress when she tried, but more often than not she got so wrapped up in her own world that she forgot other people might be watching. He wasn't going to push her though, at least not emotionally. He did, however, push her through the crowds when they wouldn't get out of their way, yelling "I have to see my boyfriend!" with a smirk to those who looked disgusted.<p>

They finally reached the place where Blaine had been performing as a backup vocalist all summer, content with the position because it kept him tuned up for the Fall and his inevitable return to Dalton, and he didn't get picked on nearly as bad when the Warbler's came by to visit.

But today was his day. He had texted Kurt that morning while he was making eggs for Finn and himself with one word. _Soloist._ Finn had to finish making his own eggs Kurt ran out of the kitchen so fast, making sure he had the perfect outfit.

He knew what time Blaine performed every day, because he had come and visited him a few times. He had only brought Rachel once before, usually dragging Mercedes or going by himself or even bringing Finn that one time. But today he felt like dragging Rachel out of her little St. Sucks world she seemed to have drawn herself into, regardless of the fact that no one else seemed to like him.

They sat and waited for Blaine's group to come out and sing, Rachel playing with a straw in her drink she had disappeared to buy a couple minutes ago. "So," Kurt said, staring at her. She stared back but didn't say anything, something she had taken to doing a lot lately. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing!" she said, but the response was too fast, and he raised an eyebrow.

"You're keeping something from me Berry. And I will find out what it is," he told her, turning his attention to the stage as the group Blaine was in was introduced, ready to focus on his boyfriend for a few moments.

* * *

><p>Blaine waved to Kurt and Rachel before ducking backstage when the show was over, straightening out his tie. It was almost 100 degrees outside and yet they still had to wear suits for their show, and he was sure he was going to pass out soon.<p>

He grabbed a water and headed back to the pavilion, hugging Rachel and kissing Kurt on the cheek. "Thanks for coming to see me," he smiled, trying not to focus too much on Rachel.

"You were great," Kurt smiled largely, pulling Blaine to him and kissing him again. Blaine felt slightly nervous, Rachel was right there and it wasn't like he wanted to hurt her, so after a minute he pulled himself away laughing.

"Easy there, I'm in a suit and it's about a thousand degrees out." Kurt smirked, but straightened Blaine's tie regardless.

"Well, we just came to visit you," he told him, and Blaine looked at Rachel for longer than a second. She looked incredibly uncomfortable, standing next to them, and it took his entire reserve of restraint not to comfort her.

"That was very nice of you," Blaine said, half distracted and trying to catch Rachel's eye. She seemed very focused on a hot dog stand across the sidewalk from them. Kurt didn't seem to notice this.

"I have to run to the bathroom, don't disappear," Kurt announced before walking off towards the restrooms.

"Hey," Blaine said quietly once he was sure Kurt was gone. Rachel offered a small smile. "Are you okay?"

She sighed and shrugged. "I just have a lot on my mind I guess," she answered truthfully. He grimaced, not all too fond of the answer.

"Are we okay?" he asked, moving a little closer to her. He knew Kurt could come back at any point in time, but he also knew that if Rachel was upset, it was only a matter of time before she blurted it out to whomever was around.

"Yes," she answered sincerely. "I just have to make a decision, and it's kind of a big one, and I can't exactly ask anyone for help with it-"

"Does it involve me?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "Yes, but I don't think it's the kind of thing we should discuss right now. And I don't know if I want to discuss it with you until I've made up my mind at all."

"You can still talk to me about it," he grinned as he saw her relax a little, brushing back a piece of her hair automatically from her face.

* * *

><p>Kurt watched quietly from his spot around the corner, the pieces of so many puzzles coming together. He wasn't 100% sure what was going on, but it was blatantly clear that <em>something<em> was.

He snuck a little bit closer, trying to keep out of their vision. He momentarily cursed his choice of bright madras, but it was Ohio in the summer so he sort of blended in. He strained his ear, trying to hear their conversation. He heard Rachel's laughter, noting that it wasn't her normal "_oh that's funny_" laughter but her "_you're cute so I'll flirt with you_" laughter that was usually reserved for Jesse these days.

"So, do you promise to actually talk to me about it?" he heard Blaine ask, watching Rachel nod.

"I have a date with Jesse tonight, but maybe I can see you tomorrow?" she asked, and Kurt's stomach sank with a realization he didn't want to come to.

"Of course, I think Kurt said he was hanging out with Mercedes to pump her for information about her new boyfriend she's keeping from everyone, so I should be free," Blaine answered, smiling in a way that Kurt did not like directed towards Rachel. That smile was _his_, directed for him and him alone.

"Okay, good," Rachel smiled and leaned up, and Kurt couldn't think as he watched Blaine lean down and then they were kissing. His brain worked long enough to take a picture on his phone, saving it under a hidden folder so Blaine wouldn't see it until the time was right.

Until then, he'd keep his discovery to himself.


	10. Over My Head

Kurt let Blaine and Rachel compose themselves before reappearing, pretending he hadn't just witnessed his boyfriend and supposed best friend making out. He suggested the three of them have lunch before Blaine headed back to work, and the two agreed quickly.

He laughed at Blaine's work stories, listened while Rachel prattled on about how she was already getting a list of song suggestions for once school started back up, offered his own amusing anecdote about Finn's fight with a bag of Frito's a few days prior, but mostly watched the two interacting. He was slowly piecing things together, things he had overlooked before. Blaine's random disappearances, Rachel's lack of discussing Jesse at every available point in time.

"So, Rachel and I were discussing something important in the car," Kurt spoke up after a moment of silence fell upon the table. He knew what he was doing was probably cruel, but it wasn't like they weren't being just as cruel.

Rachel gave an uneasy laugh, looking uncomfortable once more. "We shouldn't talk about that right now Kurt," she suggested, taking a sip of her drink.

"Well, you asked me, why can't you ask Blaine? Maybe he has some good advice for you," Kurt asked innocently. Blaine looked between the two, a confused look over his face.

"I just don't think Blaine cares enough about anything like that," she tried again, and Kurt noticed Blaine holding back an _of course I do_ like he would have for anyone else. It confirmed his suspicion on why exactly Rachel had asked his opinion in the first place-it wasn't that she didn't know if she should sleep with Jesse or not, it was that she didn't know if she should sleep with Blaine or not.

"Of course he does," Kurt smirked before turning to his boyfriend. "Rachel isn't sure if she's ready to sleep with Jesse yet," he informed Blaine, noting the loss of color from his face. "She thinks she is, and I told her we waited until we were in love and committed to each other fully."

Blaine gulped and nodded, not looking at Rachel. "Yeah, well, that's usually how things should go."

"I think she should go for it honestly," Kurt said, grinning at Rachel. "Jesse is a great match for you after all, and you've been with him for a while that I'm sure you're in love with him."

"I thought you hated Jesse?" Rachel asked quietly. "You always call him 'St. Sucks' instead of his actual name."

"Oh, well, I do," Kurt agreed. "But I can see why you'd be head over heels for him. He's talented and fawns over you, and he's gorgeous, anyone can see that."

"But if Rachel doesn't love him, she shouldn't sleep with him," Blaine countered, glaring at Kurt. Kurt smiled innocently in response, glad he had spent his summer working in theater so he could really brush up on his acting skills. Clearly he was in the big leagues with these two, and he didn't want to be the one to fold first.

"I never said I didn't love him," Rachel mumbled, refusing to look at either of them now. "I just said it was an important decision and I wasn't sure when the right time was."

"Isn't this the guy that threw eggs at you last year?" Blaine argued, and Kurt sat back to watch the fight unfold.

"So? Finn did the same thing to me-he nailed lawn furniture to Kurt's roof and threw _pee _balloons at him-" Kurt crinkled his nose at the memory, "And yet no one has a problem with him. Everyone forgave him."

"Finn is Kurt's brother now," Blaine pointed out. "There are certain things you forgive family for."

"He's only family because Kurt forced their parents to meet so he could spend more time with Finn," Rachel shot back, and now Kurt was starting to feel a little embarrassed, slightly regretting instigating a fight between the two.

"It was a long time ago, I think we should all just let that go," Kurt interjected, but at this point it was becoming apparent that neither Blaine nor Rachel noticed he was even there.

"Finn's at least apologized for his actions, he apologized to Kurt and to Burt and I'm sure, somewhere in the course of your relationship, he apologized to you."

"Not once did he apologize to me for what I went through before he was forced into Glee. And Jesse came and found me-I didn't run after him. I was fine leaving him behind. He came back for me and apologized sincerely. He came to National's _for me_. He loves me," she fumed. Kurt could tell the moment when both of them were about to start yelling, and they were nearing that point.

"Blaine, honey, don't you have to go back to work?" He questioned, and Blaine nodded, pointedly glaring at Rachel.

"I'll see you later," he replied, storming off without so much as a hug for either of them. Rachel continued sitting in her chair, arms across her chest as she practically oozed anger.

"Well, that was a productive lunch," Kurt mumbled, hoping that if any good had come out of their fight it resulted in Blaine's return to being 100% his.

* * *

><p>Rachel had steamed silently beside him the entire car ride up, despite Kurt putting on the Wicked soundtrack. Her silence wasn't good for his nerves or his brain; it gave him too much time to think. The realization of what had happened, of what he had seen earlier in the afternoon, it all came rushing back to him as he drove.<p>

Rachel, the girl who originally stole Finn from him, was now stealing his actual boyfriend. The boy who had said _I love you _one afternoon in a coffee shop, without Kurt initiating any talk of feelings. Rachel, the girl who he had spent the past two years learning to like and growing to love as a friend, was stealing away his first real shot at happiness.

The longer he thought about it, the more his desire to shove her out of the moving car grew. But he knew that wouldn't do any good, and he wasn't really upset with her. Yes, he was pissed beyond belief that she would try this again-but really, it was Blaine he was mad at. Blaine had sat there and _said _he was 100% gay and he clearly wasn't. Unless Rachel was some sort of exception to the rule-in which Kurt just got even more annoyed, because out of _all _the girls, it had to be Rachel Fucking Berry, his one true competition at anything? It couldn't have been Quinn or Santana, or even Brittany.

It was Rachel.

Rachel would always get what she wanted, that was something Kurt had already accepted a long time ago. But he thought after what seemed like a failed attempt at a relationship, she wouldn't want Blaine anymore. Silly him for thinking Blaine wouldn't want Rachel.

And really, Blaine had Kurt to thank for all of Rachel's improvements. He was slowly helping her weed out the horrible fashion she seemed to think was acceptable, was making her more bearable for other people.

"Thanks for the ride," Rachel said as Kurt stopped at her house. He nodded, not trusting himself not to burst out with a stream of profanities and yelling, driving off before he could sit around and storm into her house to ask her exactly what the fuck was going on.

* * *

><p>Kurt slammed the door as he came in, causing Finn to pause his video game and look into the main hallway. "Dude?" he called out, and Kurt stormed into the living room, clearly worked up. "Whoa, what happened man? I thought you were just going to see Blaine with Rachel or something? Did something happen? Did Karofsky come after you, because if he did, I swear I will kill him-"<p>

"It wasn't Karofsky," Kurt steamed, pacing now. Finn watched him uneasily, it wasn't often Kurt got this upset and it was making him nervous.

"What happened then?"

"That stupid _whore _of an ex-girlfriend of yours-"

"Rachel? Rachel isn't a whore, trust me."

"And that stupid, _stupid _boyfriend of mine-"

"Rachel and Blaine? What'd they do?" Finn asked, even more confused than before.

"It's not what they did do-or maybe it is, I don't know. All I know is that I left them alone for two minutes-TWO MINUTES FINN!- and I come back to _this_," he seethed, throwing his phone at Finn. Finn caught it, glancing at the screen quickly before looking back up at Kurt. A second later the picture caught his attention again as his brain caught up with what he saw.

"Wait, is this-"

"Rachel and Blaine _kissing?_" Kurt screeched. "Yes, yes it is."

"Are you okay?" Finn asked, frowning at the cell phone screen in his hand. It seemed like a douche move on Blaine's part to cheat on Kurt, especially with Rachel. Finn supposed he should have been surprised at Rachel's actions, but if truth be told, he didn't put anything past her at this point. Few things stopped her from getting what she wanted.

But Blaine wasn't his concern, if anything Blaine should be concerned about running into Finn's fist. And Finn lost any right to be concerned about Rachel a while ago, even if he wanted to take her side in this. Kurt was his main worry, and the way Kurt was practically setting fire to the floor underneath him.

"I'm not okay. My boyfriend, my first boyfriend, is sleeping with Rachel Berry!"

"I'm sure they're not sleeping together," Finn offered, but Kurt didn't seem to notice.

"She's going to waltz on by because she gets what she wants. She stole you from me-not that I ever had you, because as she reminded me constantly, even if she was last in line she'd still be ahead of me since you're not gay-" Finn's stomach churned uncomfortably at the reminder of the previous spring's events, but let Kurt continue. "- and now she's stealing away the boy that is actually gay. How does she even do this?"

"Kurt, maybe you should sit down," but Finn's words went unheard as Kurt rubbed his forehead. Finn took a step closer warily, half expecting Kurt to snap his head off. When he didn't he moved closer until he could hug his brother-something he didn't do often because hugging wasn't really his thing, but he knew that Kurt wouldn't read too much into it anymore.

Kurt relaxed into him, and Finn rubbed his back absentmindedly. He tried to block out that he used to do this with Rachel, sensing the Hudmel house was now a Rachel Berry free house for the time being. Instead he focused on how _tiny _Kurt felt in his arms. He was still a guy, but he was small and fit easily enough in Finn's arms. He shook his head, clearing away the thought, and cleared his throat, taking a step back. "Now that you're breathing again," he joked, but his voice was coming out weird and strangled, "maybe you should talk to Blaine about this?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "I'm surprised you didn't suggest Rachel first."

Finn shrugged. "Rachel is going to do what Rachel wants to do. I mean you should probably talk to her or something, but like, Blaine's your boyfriend right? And I'm sure he'll crack before she does anyways."

Kurt sighed, nodding his head. "I suppose that makes sense. When did you get so wise Hudson?"

"No idea Hummel," Finn grinned back as Kurt retreated up the steps, already dialing Blaine from his phone.


	11. Heartbreak Warfare

Blaine ignored Kurt's text as he drove towards Lima. He knew that his blowout with Rachel wasn't good, that Kurt suspected something was off, but he would deal with him later. He had spent the better part of his afternoon stomping around, only putting on his show face for their next performance before he was officially dismissed for the day.

He didn't want to face Kurt, not until he knew where he stood with Rachel. Whether they were going to end-which was hypocritical of him since he had been sleeping with Kurt almost the entire time he and Rachel had been sneaking around-or fix themselves, he wanted to know where he stood before the inevitable _why were you and Rachel practically screaming at each other in the middle of a theme park _discussion came up.

It wasn't until he pulled up to Rachel's that he remembered her words from before their spat, her plans with Jesse. His car wasn't there, but he was willing to bet she wasn't in there. He drove around to the empty park a couple blocks away regardless, walking back to her house with his mind racing. He figured showing up in her bedroom was probably a bad idea-if Rachel was considering having sex with Jesse, and they decided to do this at Rachel's, Jesse wouldn't be too pleased to see Blaine sitting on her bed. But it was the best chance he had at stopping anything from happening, so he grabbed the hide-a-key from her back porch and let himself in, the air conditioning running and cooling him down instantly after his long, hot day in the sun.

He hopped the stairs two at a time, sliding into her bedroom and collapsing on her bed. He smirked at how weirdly comfortable he felt doing this, sneaking into her house and crashing. He didn't think he could ever do that at Kurt's-though that might have more to do with Burt than anything. Burt still slightly scared him, but he wasn't exactly used to having a protective father like Kurt was.

His phone went off again, this time a phone call. He glanced at the screen long enough to see Kurt's name before throwing it on her desk, making himself more comfortable on her bed and picking up a book from her bedside table. It didn't look particularly good, but it was either thinking-which, if he was honest with himself, would probably be the smarter decision-or reading a book. And right now, book won.

* * *

><p>Jesse had become increasingly annoying as the meal progressed. "Rachel, you're clearly upset-"<p>

"I said I'm fine," she snapped at him, ripping her wrist away from his reach. He looked hurt, but the truth was that she _was _too upset to care right now. She had debated just dragging him up to her room when he came to pick her up, but he was being so chivalrous and kept talking about reservations that she reluctantly left the house with him, sane enough to be glad they weren't going to Breadstix _again_.

He signaled to their waiter, who brought them their check. "Well, I was going to see if you wanted to do something special tonight," he started as he slid their server his credit card with a grin before turning back to Rachel, "But you seem to be in a mood of some sort, and I'm getting the feeling that you'd rather be alone."

Rachel didn't answer, just sighing instead. "Do you really want to know?" she finally asked him, and he nodded.

"Of course Rachel. You know I'll listen to whatever you have to say."

"I've just been thinking a lot lately about us, and our relationship." Jesse's face went from slightly hopeful to completely grave at her words, and she wished she could make that change but she wasn't sure if she honestly could. Which is why she decided to go with only telling part of the truth. "I think that I might be ready for us to have sex."

His face did a complete 180 so quickly Rachel thought she was seeing things. He looked slightly apprehensive, yet excited at the possibility. "Are you sure Rachel? I know that it was a big deal to you, I don't want to rush you. It's your decision."

She licked her lips and nodded her head. "I'm 100% sure. I love you Jesse," she smiled, and he grinned back at her, "and I know I'm ready. I wouldn't lead you on like that again," she promised.

"Well," he cleared his throat, clearly trying not to look over excited as to scare her into changing her mind once more. "When do you think you'd like to do this?"

She grinned at him now, leaning across the table. "Well, you said you had the house to yourself, didn't you?"

* * *

><p>Blaine put the book down, glancing at the clock. It was getting to be way later than normal for Rachel to be out, and he was worried maybe she had gone to Jesse's. He hoped she was with Mercedes or even Quinn or something, but she wasn't answering his texts anymore and he was starting to get antsy.<p>

He had heard her dads come home and shut the light off so they wouldn't come in the room, which meant he was now laying in the dark on her bed, listening to the sounds of her dad's moving around on the floor below him. He tried to lull himself to sleep for a bit, but he wasn't tired. Instead his mind started doing the thinking he had been trying to avoid in the first place. He had read over Kurt's texts, but still didn't feel like answering them. He was becoming the worst boyfriend in the world to Kurt, and if he admitted it to himself he knew he should probably just break things off with him. His feelings were waning-not that he didn't love Kurt still, but at this point it was more of a friendship love.

Which was scary for him since it made him start to question their entire relationship, wondering what parts of it were real and what wasn't. He thought about how his feelings had started after he already knew how Kurt felt, and a tiny voice suggested that maybe it wasn't so much Kurt he had wanted to date but the _idea _of Kurt. Kurt was his best friend, one of the few people he had learned to trust enough to let in and be comfortable around. But his romantic feelings for him were fading the more time he spent with Rachel.

He knew that if he broke things off with Kurt _for _Rachel, Kurt would be devastated and more than likely never speak to either of them again. And above all, he wanted to keep Kurt in his life. And if that meant living a lie, well he was beginning to get used to it. He didn't like it, and he thought it was ironic on some level that he had to keep dating a guy so that his cover wasn't blown instead of coming out that he was in love with a girl, but at this point, nothing in his life was surprising.

He picked his phone up again, checking the time and grimacing when it read that it was already after midnight. He had been sitting in Rachel's room for almost four hours and she still hadn't come home, and he didn't like the possibilities of what could be happening right now. He sighed, a cloud of sadness starting to hover above him as his imagination raced to all the possibilities that could be happening, and started to gather his stuff to just disappear. He would talk to Rachel later on, though at this point even that seemed pointless. Maybe they weren't supposed to last any longer than this, maybe this was how they were supposed to end. One veiled argument in front of Kurt and one of the best things in his life was just gone.

He put his phone in his pocket, heading towards her door-her dads had gone to sleep a while ago, but he still wanted to be quiet as he left the house-as the door opened and the light flicked on, Rachel gasping in surprise at the sight of Blaine as his stomach clenched in on itself, threatening to very possibly throw up as she said his name in surprise.


	12. Good For You

Blaine wasn't answering him. He had texted him three times in the past hour, and he hadn't said a word. Kurt tried to comfort himself with the fact that he was probably still at work, he was just busy and he'd get back to Kurt as soon as he was out of work.

He kept himself busy with scouring through catalogs; circling things he would buy in a couple weeks for back to school shopping. It felt weird that school was already starting again soon, his time with Blaine soon to be cut even shorter. Of course, at the thought of Blaine, he became irritable again, checking his phone to see if he had somehow missed the blaring alert to a new text message. He hadn't, and he debated throwing his phone across the room but decided against it when he remembered that he'd rather spend his money on new clothes than a new phone.

"Kurt!" his dad bellowed from down the stairs, "Finn! It's dinner time!" Kurt scrunched his nose, he wasn't hungry at all.

"Kurt!" Finn knocked on his door, "Don't make me come in there," he threatened. Kurt rolled his eyes but opened his door regardless.

"I'm coming, if I didn't come to dinner dad would think something was wrong. The last thing I need to deal with right now is him asking me what's wrong." He informed Finn as the two clomped down the stairs, heading towards the kitchen where Carole was just finishing putting food on the table.

"Hope you're hungry boys," she smiled and they sat down, Kurt frowning inwardly at the massive amount of food being forced onto his plate.

* * *

><p>Kurt remained silent throughout dinner, so Finn had to run interference with their parents after he disappeared back up the stairs.<p>

"Are you sure he's okay?" his mom asked, a worried look crossing her face.

"He's fine, just a little moody or something," Finn assured her as he helped clear the table.

"It's not like him to leave the table without offering to clean," Burt stated, and Finn just shrugged.

"Maybe it's the heat. I mean he wears vests even when it's over a hundred degrees out. That's sure to make anyone crabby." His excuse was lame, even Finn had to admit that, but Burt seemed to go along with it.

"Still, maybe I should go check on him or something," Burt said as he headed towards the hallway.

"No!" Finn cried out, causing both of the adults to stare at him skeptically. "I mean, you know, he's a teenager. We get moody sometimes. You know what?" Finn babbled on, taking the stack of plates out of his moms hands, "You two should go out. On a date, or something. You don't ever go out just the two of you. Get some ice cream or go to a movie or something. I can clean up the kitchen."

Carole looked at Burt as he shrugged. "We haven't really been out of the house in ages," she agreed slowly.

"See! It's perfect. You two kids go out and have some fun. We'll be fine," Finn smiled, hoping it came across as reassuring. It seemed to work as Burt grabbed his keys, shouting a quick bye to his son and heading out the door.

Finn started the dishes, trying to decide just _how _he was going to get Kurt out of his funk.

* * *

><p>"Go away," Kurt yelled when Finn tried knocking on his door. He was sitting on his floor willing Blaine to call him or answer his texts, feeling like a pathetic mess. He wasn't sure how exactly he had ended up like this, but he knew he didn't want anyone-not even Finn-to see him like this. <em>Especially not Finn<em>, he decided, glancing at the door to see if it was locked.

"No," Finn argued back.

"Well, the door is locked, so you can keep knocking but I won't answer."

"You are answering."

"I won't open the door." He heard Finn sigh heavily from the other side before walking away a minute later, heading down the stairs. He went back to staring at his phone, checking once more to make sure he had all bars of service he could.

He typed out another text message before deleting it, he was beginning to sound desperate and really, that wasn't going to send Blaine back into his arms, more than likely just pushing him into Rachel's. And really, what did Rachel have that he didn't?

_No_, he reprimanded. He wasn't going to go back into that. He wasn't going to compare himself to Rachel.

Except that's all his brain seemed to be able to focus on now, no matter how much he tried to think about something else.

Finn knocked again, but Kurt ignored him, turning his back towards the door in an act of childish behavior. "Kurt, I'll break in if I have to." Kurt didn't say anything, figuring his threats were empty-Finn might have been tall but he wasn't stupid enough to break down a door. His father would be pissed and Finn _hated _disappointing Burt. "Fine, you leave me no choice but to do this," Finn announced and Kurt turned around in time to notice his doorknob rattling and turning. Finn swung open the door, a smug look upon his face and a screwdriver in his hand.

"You _unlocked my door with a screwdriver?_" Kurt asked in astonishment, because more than anything he was slightly impressed.

Finn shrugged, tossing the tool onto Kurt's bed. "Yes. Now, I've set up a marathon on Netflix of all those old romantic chick flick musical's you keep trying to get me to watch. Our parents are out and we can chill in the basement and _you _can relax and take your mind off the Rachel and Blaine thing."

Kurt looked at his phone, but Finn shook his head _no_. "But what if Blaine calls-"

"You can talk to him later," Finn answered firmly. "Now, come on. You know you want to go on and on about fashion in musicals."

"Will you actually listen?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I will try my hardest."

* * *

><p>Finn really did try too. He sat through most of <em>My Fair Lady <em>and listened to Kurt go on and on about how flawless Audrey Hepburn was, but there was only so long before he started to focus on other things. Like the fact that Kurt had snuggled up next to him in the cold basement, moving one of Finn's arms so it was thrown casually across him. A year ago, this would have caused world war three between the two. But now Finn noticed that it felt weirdly comfortable.

Kurt fell silent as the movie came to a close, going to choose another movie from the list available to him. He finally settled on _Enchanted_-ignoring Finn's chortle as the Disney movie started playing.

"Maybe I want a cute Disney movie," he said.

"I didn't say anything," Finn smirked.

Kurt sighed overdramatically, sitting up suddenly, leaving Finn's side suddenly cold. "It's just, how could they do this? Did neither of them consider how I would feel about this?"

"Kurt, maybe we should just watch the movie-"Finn tried to distract him, but he could tell it was useless. Kurt was all wound up again and Finn wasn't sure he could calm him down this time.

"Why would Blaine do this? Am I not good enough for him?"

"You're _too _good for him," Finn supplied, but Kurt shook his head, focusing on the wall next to him.

"Maybe he just thinks Rachel is more attractive than I am," Kurt complained.

"You're beautiful," Finn shot out before he could think about it. Kurt looked at him and he flushed red, sputtering out a quick "I mean, like, you know what I mean."

"I'm not. I'm not attractive at all," Kurt blushed. "I mean when we were doing that dance in the warehouse-"

"You danced in a warehouse? Were you trying to kidnap someone in a musical style?"

"-Blaine basically told me I looked completely ridiculous when I was trying to be sexy." Finn snorted.

"Have you seen yourself?" he asked. He knew how he was sounding, but Kurt was down and he needed to cheer his brother-_step brother_-up. Besides, it wasn't like he was lying. More like just admitting things out loud that he had never even acknowledged he thought in the first place.

"Stop it," Kurt mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed.

"No, seriously. What, last year when we were doing _Push It_? Or when you were a Cheerio? I'm sure if Blaine saw you when you were in your Cheerio uniform, he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off you. Or even the _Born This Way _thing we did. Who knew you could pull off a simple outfit without all your scarves and stuff?"

Kurt sighed, but didn't argue Finn's statements, for which he was glad. It wasn't something he particularly wanted to say again. He was embarrassed enough he said it out loud the first time. "Well, still. There has to be _some _reason Blaine would go for Rachel when he was with me," Kurt argued halfheartedly.

"It's his loss Kurt," Finn said, trying to turn his attention back to where the animation was turning into a live action movie. "You're a great guy, and if he can't recognize that when he has you, he shouldn't have you. You deserve to be treated a lot better."

"Maybe," Kurt replied. "Maybe she's just a better kisser than I am."

Finn was quiet. He knew first hand that Rachel was an extraordinary kisser-there were few things that girls mouth _couldn't _do well, but he didn't necessarily want to explain that. "Kissing is always better when there's feelings involved," he spoke instead.

"But maybe he just never got his bisexual phase out," Kurt said with more emphasis this time. "Maybe he just needs to fool around with Rachel, see that girls aren't as much fun as boys, and then he'll come back. Unless she can kiss as good as she can sing. And then I'm really screwed."

Finn looked uncomfortable as an idea popped in his head. It was a horrible idea, really, and he wasn't even sure where it came from. Maybe it was all the talk about kissing, maybe it was the use of the term _bisexual_-he wasn't sure. But he wasn't quick enough to cover his face before Kurt noticed and asked him what was wrong. "Nothing," he answered quickly, not looking at Kurt.

"No, you have your terrible idea face on. And don't tell me you don't-" Kurt powered through, ignoring Finn's feeble attempt at interrupting him. "I know that face way too well now."

"It's a really bad idea," Finn agreed if only to get Kurt to not ask him about it.

There was no such hope. "Well, what is it?"

"Okay, but remember that I told you this was a horrible and completely weird idea, okay?" Kurt nodded, waiting patiently. "I was thinking that since, you know, I've kissed Rachel, I would know who the better kisser is if you and I kissed," he rushed out in one breath.

Kurt sat there, unfazed at his sentence. Finn refused to look at him, completely sure he was a fiery red at even the mention. "Did you, um," Kurt started and Finn desperately just wanted to move onto another topic. "Did you just offer to kiss me and see if I was a better kisser than Rachel?"

Finn shuffled himself awkwardly on the couch. "I, uh, I mean, I was just pointing out the obvious, since you can't exactly go up to Blaine and ask him, but it was stupid and that's that."

Kurt didn't say anything, leading Finn to feel more and more awkward. "It's a horrible idea," Kurt finally said.

"Really, really bad. Like, (_You're) Having My Baby_ bad."

"That may be the worst decision we ever made together," Kurt joked and Finn laughed with him. The tension between them eased a little, and Finn didn't think beyond a quick _fuck it _before he leaned in and kissed Kurt, quickly at first just to get a feel of it, but then Kurt made a surprised squeak before kissing him back, and Finn definitely had an answer for who was a better kisser.


	13. It Wasn't Enough

"What are you doing here?" she asked as Blaine stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

His eyes raked her appearance-her hair wasn't smooth and perfect, her makeup was a little bleary. His eyes narrowed as the words "Where have you been?" fell before he could stop them, his voice cold and harsh. He knew he had no right to judge-after all, he had been sleeping with Kurt for a while now. But the thought of _Rachel _sleeping with _Jesse _was enough to drive him completely insane.

"That doesn't matter," she shot back, dumping her stuff on her bed.

"Yes, it does," he retorted. "Were you with Jesse?"

"You mean, my boyfriend? Yes, I was. I was spending time with my actual boyfriend because when you're in a relationship, that's what you're supposed to do." Her eyes were glaring at him fiercely as he scoffed.

"You don't even like him!" Blaine retorted.

"Of course I do! I wouldn't date him if I didn't like him." She was trying to keep her voice quiet, undoubtedly so her fathers wouldn't wake up and hear the argument unfolding.

"Did you sleep with him?" he asked her simply, waiting for her reply.

It came a moment later, a short "It doesn't matter what I did or did not do," but it wasn't good enough for Blaine.

"Of course it matters! It matters to _me_."

"Why would it matter if I slept with Jesse? It would only even out what you're doing with Kurt. Don't you get it Blaine? We're not a real relationship. You and Kurt, that's real. Jesse and I? We're together. You and I fool around on the side, we can't tell anyone, we can't even ever acknowledge the fact that this may run deeper than sexual attraction. So what the fuck does it matter if I am sleeping with my actual boyfriend Blaine, tell me." She looked as if she might burst into tears through her anger, but the words had already done their damage.

"Well then," Blaine said calmly. "I guess I know where I stand. I'll see you around Rachel," he told her before walking out the door, not looking back as he heard her start to cry.

* * *

><p>Blaine had sent a quick text to Kurt before he went to bed that night, telling him he really wanted to talk to him. With the end of him and Rachel, he could return to being the boyfriend he used to be before everything started happening. When he awoke the next morning, Kurt had replied with an invitation for breakfast the following morning, which Blaine took as a good sign.<p>

He arrived outside the Hudmel household ten minutes earlier than planned, knocking loudly and coming in when he heard Finn's familiar "Come in!" shout.

"Morning," Blaine offered as he sat down at the island counter. Finn nodded his greeting while looking through cabinets. "What are you doing?" he asked, and Finn shushed him before slamming a cabinet shut.

"I really, really want waffles. But I don't think we have a waffle maker, or at least, I can't find it. Do you think you can make waffles without a waffle maker?" He asked, looking hopeful.

"Just make pancakes," Kurt said as he walked into the room, heading towards the fridge and not even acknowledging Blaine's existence.

"But they're not the same. They don't have the little squares," Finn pouted.

"Take a tennis racket and whack the pancakes until they have squares then," Kurt suggested sarcastically. Blaine shifted uncomfortably while the two continued to bicker, waiting for Kurt to even say a 'hello' to him. He supposed his fight with Rachel the previous day had done more damage than he noticed, but he was prepared to make up for it. He had spent the better portion of his drive perfecting his excuses for ignoring him and making such a fuss over the Rachel ordeal.

"But we have to have a waffle pan somewhere!" Finn complained loudly, breaking Blaine out of his thoughts.

"I told you, it's a waffle _iron_, and we had to get rid of it when you didn't use cooking spray on it. I couldn't get the pieces of bread you were trying to toast out of it no matter how much I scrubbed."

"Can't you just make me waffles?" Finn asked, and Kurt shook his head as he grabbed his toast out of the toaster.

"No, I have plans with Blaine," he told him, still not actually looking at Blaine. He felt almost as if he wasn't really there, which was probably how Kurt felt yesterday at King's Island. Finn sighed dramatically and reached for a box of cereal.

"Fine," he mumbled, grabbing a bowl and spoon before heading into the living room, leaving Kurt alone with Blaine.

"Hi," Blaine said quietly. Kurt smiled but continued eating his toast across the counter. "Sorry I ignored you last night, I was-"

"In a snit about Rachel sleeping with her own boyfriend?" Kurt offered, and Blaine winced.

"I over reacted yesterday. I don't know what that was. I'm really, really sorry," he said, his voice small. He meant every word, but Kurt seemed to just shrug it off as Finn walked back in the room.

"Forgot milk," he said, grabbing some from the fridge before leaving them alone again.

"I am really, honestly sorry," Blaine voiced. Kurt gave a small head tilt, which Blaine assumed meant he accepted his apology. "Can we go back to being obnoxiously in love again?"

This time Kurt let a real smile show on his face. "Nothing sounds better."

* * *

><p>Rachel didn't want to get out of bed. In fact, she was refusing to. She told her dads she had a cold, only responding to Jesse's texts with the same excuse, and when Kurt called to ask if she had gone through with having sex with Jesse the previous night, she answered with a short "Yes, but I don't feel well today," before hanging up.<p>

She supposed she deserved this. Because while she did _want _to have sex with Jesse, she knew in the back of her mind he wasn't the first one she wanted to be with. And if Kurt hadn't interfered and brought it up at lunch, Blaine and her could have had a rational discussion. _Or maybe_, she thought bitterly as she switched the side she was laying on, _we would have just had an even bigger argument in private_.

It wasn't until 2 in the afternoon that she finally left her bed, deciding that enough was enough. So her and Blaine were done. She could cope and move on and put on her show face. She still had a wonderful boyfriend who loved her and took care of her and was waiting for her to graduate high school before eventually moving to New York with her. And yes, he might have had to make up some classes at the community college before he could go anyways, but it was the thought behind it that counted.

But she wasn't going to sit around and mourn the loss of her secret boyfriend forever. She was going to move on and make her life with Jesse, with New York. Those were her true loves, Blaine had just been a distraction.

* * *

><p>Kurt felt confident enough that Rachel had been honest when he called her in the morning. He was even more confident that Rachel and Blaine's fling had ended when he heard how miserable she was. Once Blaine apologized, Kurt was content to leave it all in the past. Which is why he spent the day ignoring Finn's texts and questions. After their kiss last night, Kurt had felt such a resurgence of all his old feelings that he had to flee, leaving poor Finn even more confused than normal. He assumed they'd have to talk about it at some point, since neither had been drunk, but for the time being he was content just laying in his boyfriends arms watching horrible television and avoiding the heat of the outside.<p>

"So, pretty much everyone knows they're wizards now?" Blaine asked, and Kurt shrugged.

"I didn't even know the Disney channel still existed," he answered, yawning. Blaine didn't say anything more, completely enthralled by the children's show on the screen. Kurt noticed Finn hovering in the hallway, but after a long glare he disappeared out the front door with a slam.

"He okay? He's been weird all day," Blaine noted as a commercial started.

"He'll be fine. I think he's going through some sort of withdrawal from not having a girlfriend," Kurt replied. It was truth enough. Blaine looked at him questionably, Kurt was sure he looked guilty of something. Not that Blaine was one to talk, even if he found out about what happened with Finn Kurt always had the proof that Blaine made out with Rachel. Still, his stare was starting to unnerve him, so as Wizards of Waverly Place came back on, he asked more about the episode.

"Well, Alex messed up again, so now Justin has to go save her..."

* * *

><p>Finn didn't know where to go or what to do. It wasn't like he could call Puck or Mike or something and be like "Yo, so last night I made out with my brother, and it was weirdly hot. Am I gay now?" He wanted to talk to Kurt about it-Kurt was one of the few people he really talked to in general about anything. He briefly debated talking to Rachel about it, but they hadn't really spoken since her last rejection when Blaine yelled at him.<p>

Which was weird in it's own right, because Finn was pretty sure Blaine shouldn't have been that territorial, but Blaine was a weird dude.

He ended up walking around the neighborhood trying to blow off steam until Blaine left. Which, given their current state of cuddliness, might be never. Finn didn't know how Kurt could just sit there and let Blaine back in after Blaine had made out with Rachel, but he had come to terms with the fact that no one he knew was good when it came to that. _Maybe what Rachel said all those years ago was right_, he pondered. _Maybe our hormones are just too crazy to abstain from doing what we want. _He wandered back up the front steps and into his house again, ignoring Kurt and Blaine as he ran up to his room. He was going to make up a proposal for Kurt, if Rachel and Blaine could have a secret thing on the side, why couldn't Kurt have one with him? It might have been wrong and about 40 different levels of confusing for Finn, but all he really knew about the previous nights kiss was that it wasn't enough for him.


	14. That Afternoon

Rachel was quickly learning from her mistake. She was sure that spending as much time with Jesse as she was couldn't be healthy for their relationship and it certainly didn't give her much time to mourn the end of her fling with Blaine.

He was around _all the time_. He would take her to lunch dates, dinner dates, plan day trips for just the two of them. She was beginning to resent him and his sheer presence. She wanted to blame it on the sex, but if she was honest she knew that was one of the only times she didn't become annoyed with him. She was trying extremely hard to pretend that nothing more was going on, that she wasn't kicking herself for staying with the wrong boy-a thought that she constantly tried to ignore-but Jesse wasn't stupid and was starting to catch on that _something _was going on.

When he tried to bring it up, she ignored him or passed it off. "Are you sure you're not mad at me?" he asked one afternoon, his fingers idly tracing designs on her back. "You've been really…distant."

"I'm fine," she smiled up at him, kissing his shoulder. "Just distracted. Worrying about school and college and all that," she excused away, and he nodded with understanding.

That might have been the worst part of everything. How quick Jesse was to accept her small white lies, how he looked at her with nothing but love and adoration, while she was spiraling into a deeper bought of depression every time she checked Facebook and saw just how in love Kurt and Blaine were acting. How Jesse was willing to put up with the Rachel she was becoming, who she recognized less and less of every day. The Rachel who cheated and lied and acted more like Santana than Rachel Berry.

Because he loved her, and he told her constantly. Because he wanted her enough to look past her faults that she couldn't seem to handle on her own. Because he was so _picture perfect _that she was getting nauseous at the thought of him staying in Ohio, waiting for her to go to New York before starting his own life, because his life was nothing without her.

Because her life was fine without Jesse, but it was falling apart without Blaine.

* * *

><p>Blaine was usually in one of two moods these days. And Kurt couldn't decide which one infuriated him more.<p>

When they were together, it usually started off okay. Blaine would be normal, but then something would switch. Someone would mention something that undoubtedly reminded him of Rachel, and it was like Blaine became an entirely different person.

The first person was obnoxious. He was lovey-dovey and all over Kurt, as if the guilt for what he had done was overriding common sense as he mauled him in the movie theater or park. He would shower Kurt with 'I love you' and compliments, staring at him in an almost creepy way. He became the kind of person Kurt had always detested-the showy kind of person who needed _everyone _to see just how in love he was, no matter who was around or where they were.

But he was sure that he preferred that Blaine slightly more to the other, the darker, scarier, more aggressive Blaine. The one who had, once or twice, been so _unlike Blaine _that it scared him. He was harsh with his words, once even insulting an outfit Kurt had prided himself in putting together. He was the one that would push Kurt against walls when they made out, throw him on the bed and bite hard on his pale skin. He never _hurt _Kurt physically, but Kurt couldn't deny that these changes were doing a toll on his mental well-being.

Because he knew why Blaine was doing these things, knew that it traveled back to Rachel Berry and their apparent demise. Kurt was 100% positive that he had never elicited reactions even half as powerful as the ones Rachel seemed to pull out of Blaine, and it drove him crazy. He was back to spending his nights wondering what made her so damn wonderful and Kurt just a second prize. He was tired of feeling like a second prize, especially to his _own _boyfriend.

But he also knew how lucky he was to _have _a boyfriend. Openly gay teenage boys weren't exactly a common thing in Ohio, his mind flitting to Karofsky momentarily. He knew that if he ended things with Blaine, he was looking at spending the next year alone, and that was scarier than even Blaine's worst moods.

Or so he thought when he was alone.

And then Blaine would freak out once more, and Kurt would take all his restraint not to yell at him. Their dynamic was getting worse and worse by the day, and he feared that it was only a matter of time before he cracked.

* * *

><p>"But if you go to Julliard, and I go to the City University of New York for a couple semesters, I can probably transfer in, and then we can be together in New York, trying to make it as Broadway's newest stars," Jesse grinned as he looked over the list of college's Rachel was applying to.<p>

She sighed in frustration. She had asked for one afternoon in the past two weeks, and yet here he was, sitting on the edge of her bed. School was starting in another week and a half, and she wanted to make sure she was prepared for her meeting with Ms. Pillsbury that she had already set up to discuss her future. "Jesse, please."

He looked up at her, eyes wide and open and honest and she _hated _him for it. She hated that it was the same way she used to look at him, without guilt and lies clouding over everything else. "Rach, you can tell me-"

"Nothing is going on!" she practically yelled, tired of fielding the question day in and day out. He didn't say anything, sitting quietly and _still staring_. She felt her last nerve break, and before she could stop herself she was ranting. "Maybe I just wanted a little time to myself. Because you haven't left me alone in like, three weeks. And I have to worry about my future-_mine_, not yours and mine. Because no matter what I feel for you, there'll be a point when we break up and my dreams need to continue on. I can't go around heartbroken forever and abandoning all my chances at fame and stardom because of it."

"This has been going on longer than today," Jesse pointed out as she glared at him.

"Because you're _always around_," she seethed. She could see his flinch at her words, saw how deep they cut him, but couldn't bring herself to be sorry. She knew now that this was how they were ending. His words broke them last time, now it was her turn.

"So, you want me gone," he said calmly. She nodded, turning back to her list. "Fine," he stated as he slid off the bed and headed towards her door, "just remember Rachel-I love you more than the rest of them. I'm better for you than the rest of them. I'm perfect for you, and when you do get to New York next fall, if you've realized that, I'll be there."

She watched him walk out of her door, knowing his words were probably true. But as perfect as he might have been for her, he wasn't the one she wanted. Not right now.

Now all she wanted was Blaine.

* * *

><p>"Maybe if you weren't too busy powdering your face all the time," Blaine muttered under his breath, and Kurt couldn't take it anymore.<p>

"If you're going to nit-pick and judge every single thing I do, why don't you just go back to Rachel!" he exclaimed before he realized what he had said. Blaine raised an eyebrow, his eyes expressing a mixture between shock and shame.

"What-I don't-what are you talking about?" he finally stuttered out, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Drop the act Blaine," he snarled, "I saw you kissing at King's Island."

"We didn't-and that was like, a month ago-why would you even-" his worlds faulted when Kurt shoved his phone in his face, the picture he had snapped quickly finally being used. Kurt swallowed hard as Blaine stumbled around sentences, surely trying to come up with some sort of excuse.

"Are you done lying now?"

"If you've known, why didn't you say anything?" Blaine questioned curiously.

"Because, I figured you two had ended whatever it was after your fight that day, and I thought it was just a sexual thing-maybe you were still trying to figure out if you were bisexual. But then you've been this _monster _for the past month and I can't take it anymore Blaine. So if you want to be with her, just-go."

"I don't Kurt, I swear," Blaine tried to argue, moving closer to Kurt. Kurt backed away, not believing him.

"If you didn't want to be with her, you wouldn't have cheated. You wouldn't turn from a normal person to some sort of lovesick puppy or emotional terrorist every time someone mentioned _something _that you can relate to Berry."

"I didn't want this to happen," Blaine uttered softly. Kurt nodded.

"I know that," he said, because he did. Blaine-for his many, _many _faults, didn't want to hurt anyone. But Blaine didn't know how to process emotions in a normal way, and took all his anger and pain out on Kurt and Kurt couldn't stand idly by anymore. "Maybe next time you're upset about something else, don't mock someone's summer scarf collection?" he offered quietly.

Blaine chuckled, rubbing his eyes. "Oh, fuck, Kurt I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I can't even begin to think about how badly I fucked up, I've been avoiding it for so long. And I didn't mean to insult your scarves, I love your scarves."

"Well, who wouldn't?" Kurt smiled, wondering how exactly he had gone from biting Blaine's head off to feeling relatively calm-he supposed it was Blaine himself.

* * *

><p>"I don't want to break up," Blaine whispered. He felt horrible, unsure of how they had even reached this point. He had tried so hard to not take his anger and frustration out at Kurt, though he had known he'd been failing. Stupid things would just make him <em>think <em>of her and he'd be overcome with rage or pain or guilt and he couldn't seem to keep a showface on.

Kurt laughed, his voice becoming light and carefree in a way Blaine hadn't heard in a while. It was a punch to the gut to realize he had been the one stifling that laugh. "I think, at this point, it's inevitable." Blaine nodded.

"Well, maybe I should go," he said, and Kurt nodded. He paused, giving Kurt a small kiss on the cheek. "I really am sorry," he repeated. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know," Kurt told him once more as he walked him to the front door. "Oh, and Blaine?" Blaine turned around, fiddling with his car keys. "If you and Rachel don't fix whatever it was that came between you, I'm pretty sure everyone will murder the both of you. Rumor has it, she's been on the warpath for the past few weeks." Blaine let a small smile appear on his face and gave a short nod before heading back to his car.

His relationship with Kurt, his first real boyfriend, was over. His first real _love _was over. He could sit there and wallow in even more self-pity and pain, or he could go and fix the reason that had destroyed his relationship in the first place. He could give him and Rachel a real try.

* * *

><p>Kurt was laying on his bed when Finn walked in without knocking. He had chickened out of talking to Kurt the day after they kissed, and the more time passed by the less he wanted to bring it up again. But he had been sitting in the basement playing Halo when he heard Kurt blow up at Blaine, a sad smile appearing on his face. He was glad Kurt was sticking up for himself, ending the sham of a relationship he had been in for the past few weeks. But he was sorry that Kurt was now going to be hurt and upset and alone again.<p>

That's when he decided to make waffles.

Burt and Carole had disappeared for the weekend, off on a trip to Chicago as a 'mini-Honeymoon' since they never got their real one. Kurt hadn't really eaten anything since Blaine left in the afternoon, and Finn couldn't just let him _starve_. So he cooked up some waffles as best he could and put them on a plate, letting himself into Kurt's room without notice.

"Waffles?" Kurt asked without a greeting.

"You need to eat, and so, waffles," Finn replied as he handed the plate to Kurt. Kurt took the plate, cutting up a small piece.

"You haven't been talking to me," Kurt said after a minute, and Finn shrugged.

"You've been busy," he replied, knowing that this would be the perfect opportunity to mention the weird freak out he'd been having since their kiss.

"The kiss weirded you out, didn't it," Kurt said, crinkling his nose.

Finn hesitated before nodding. "But not in like, a weird way," he said. Kurt looked at him blankly. "Like, okay, yeah it was a good kiss. And it was better than Rachel, which was the point of the whole thing and then I never even got to tell you that part, but the weird thing was that it wasn't _weird_."

Kurt opened his mouth to speak, but Finn talked over him. "And like, I don't know what this means because when it happens with Rachel and Quinn I'm just like _well here we go again _and I go along with it, but then it's happening with you and not only are you a guy and that's weird-fuck, not weird, just not me? Right? Because I've never thought of guys like that before, and it's not like the idea wasn't ever presented when you were practically throwing yourself at me last year, but it just didn't intrigue me and then since we kissed it's like all I can think of. But then you're my brother-step brother, sure, but brother still and I couldn't tell other people this because I don't really tell other people anything which is another thing, because you're like the only one I really _talk _to, and I don't want to fuck anything up."

He only stopped talking because Kurt was _laughing _at him while he was in the middle of having a freak out. "I'm sorry," Kurt said through laughter. "This isn't funny, but it is. Because only you, Finn Hudson, would decide that I'm your one _gay-exception _the same day Blaine admits that Rachel is his one _straight_ exception. And you two are just so damn confused that it's confusing me."

"I'm sorry," Finn mumbled, "I'll just go-"

"No," Kurt said sternly. Finn looked over at him and Kurt waved him over. He shuffled over slowly until Kurt had managed to get him within arm's length distance, grabbing Finn by the shirt and pulling him close to him. "I hate you for making my life even more complicated Hudson."

Finn grinned sheepishly. "Thanks," he replied before Kurt dragged his face down to Kurt's own, the feelings and confusion being left behind as they toppled onto the bed.


	15. I Still Care For You

Blaine waited a couple of days. He figured, as he drove by Rachel's house that day, thinking that it was probably best to make sure he was over Kurt. He didn't want to end up ruining two relationships because of the same problems. So he drove past, heading for his own home to figure out exactly what it was he wanted before confronting Rachel.

By the time school started up, Blaine was worried too much time might have passed by. He was fortunate enough not to have a last class as a senior, so he left early the first Friday, driving towards Lima with the full intentions of winning Rachel back. He had heard-through Facebook, since Kurt nor Finn were talking to him at the moment, something he didn't really blame them for-that Rachel had broken up with Jesse. He took this as hope that she wasn't over Blaine any more than he was over her, but he still prepared himself with a speech _he _was pretty proud of. He figured serenading her in front of Kurt and the Glee club was just cruel on top of everything else, so he waited until he saw her head to her car, laughing at something Tina was saying.

He slid over, tapping her on the shoulders. When she whirled around to face him her laughter immediately died down, and Tina left with a quick "Bye!" as she ran over to where the football field was, presumably to watch Mike at practice.

"What do you want Anderson?" she asked as she unlocked her car door and dropped her bag inside.

"I wanted to talk," he told her simply.

"Why now? I heard you and Kurt broke up about two weeks ago."

"Around the same time you and Jesse did," Blaine pointed out, and she folded her arms across her chest. "I didn't come here to argue."

"Then why did you come here," she shot out, and he could tell he definitely had his work cut out for him.

"To apologize, and maybe see if we could start over?" he told her honestly. She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"I don't think so," she sneered.

"Rachel, listen, please, I know it was hypocritical of me to freak out about you and Jesse-"

"Yes, it was."

"-but I can't do this anymore, I can't _not _be with you." He saw the flicker of resistance in her eyes, the warmth he had grown to love shining through the cloud of anger.

"I can't, Blaine. We can't _be _together," she finally said, though her voice had dropped its hurt edge it previously possessed.

"Why?"

"Why? Because of Kurt, because of the fact that we've done more than enough damage to him as it is. Because we're not going to go through all this again, because I _can't _go through all this again. Because I'm barely surviving our first demise, how could I ever survive a second?" Blaine shifted uncomfortably, realizing just how deep he had hurt her. He had spent so much time dwelling on how _she _had hurt _him _that he hadn't taken nearly as much time to wonder about how he might have hurt her. "I just need to get through this, get over you completely. And then-I don't know, we can be friends or something. You and Kurt can work through your problems and everyone lives as a happily ever after."

Blaine snorted, shaking his head. "Why don't you understand it yet?" She stared at him, not answering. "I've told you-it's either our happiness or his. And it sucks and it probably makes me a horrible person for saying this, but we've already hurt him. He knows about us Rachel, he _knew _about us." Her eyes flew open in shock as he continued. "And do you know what the last thing he told me was before I left the day we broke up? He told me to fix things with us. With you and I. Because even Kurt knew that we were messes without each other."

"Still-"

"Still nothing Rachel. I love you, and I want to do everything we never let ourselves talk about before. I want to take you out on legitimate dates. I want to hold your hand and kiss you in public without worrying if someone will tell one of our boyfriends. I want to spend _all _my time with you, not just what we can afford away from our relationships. Please, just-give us a real chance." He realized how desperate he sounded, he was practically pleading with her now.

"I can't," she responded, and he didn't stop her as she got into her car, standing in the McKinley parking lot as he watched her drive away, taking his heart with her.

* * *

><p>Rachel didn't know what to do. It felt like the beginning of summer all over again, except this time the stakes were higher. Going public with Blaine was more complicated than he made it sound. She'd have to deal with the backlash of Kurt-who, supportive at one point or another or not, would not be pleased. Not to mention the complications of dating someone from another school that she had watched Kurt endure the previous year, had gone through herself with Jesse.<p>

Her gut wanted to call him and tell him she changed her mind, she wanted nothing more than to lay in bed on a Saturday and cuddle or something equally cheesy like that. She wanted to plan their futures together and go to Warbler's performances at Dalton, sing to him as he watched her from the audience when she was with New Directions.

She spent the entire night fighting her instincts, trying to focus on homework and putting her phone on silent. Not that this stopped her from checking it every ten minutes, hoping maybe Blaine would once more give her the mile she needed to provide an inch, but it remained silent from his end.

It wasn't until almost one in the morning, as she lay in the dark tossing and turning that she gave in. Pressing his speed dial-which she had never changed, even after their abrupt ending-she waited for him to answer.

"Rachel?" he answered, and instead of ignoring the fluttery feeling that overcame her, she relished in it.

"Here's the deal Anderson," she spoke, and he knew well enough not to interrupt. "This is going to be crazy difficult. You'll get crap for dating a girl after being adamantly gay, and Kurt's going to be pissed no matter what he told you. But you're right. We can't stay away from each other, and there's no way I can survive losing you unless I have you. So, you're on. Let's do this, for real this time."

She heard his joyful chuckling softly at the other end. "What changed your mind?" he asked, and she shrugged, not caring that he couldn't see her.

"You always seem to be the only one who can change it for me," she answered honestly. "Also," she stated with a grin, "this doesn't mean I'll take it easy on you at Sectional's. I'll personally make sure the New Directions work harder than ever to kick your ass."

Blaine let out a louder laugh this time, and she laughed with him, her whole body feeling light. "Not a chance Berry, the Warbler's already have this in the bag."

"Well, we'll just have to see about that," she retorted.

"Yeah," he replied quietly, but she could hear the smile in his voice. "I guess we will."


End file.
